It's possible to grieve over the loss of one facet of your life (or your daughter's) while rejoicing in the next phase. And high school is a time when more changes come, and especially more threatening changes occurr, and with greater autonomy for her comes more danger or exposure.
Feel it, accept it, and go on. Sounds like you did a good job.
Tina
My daughter, only child, starts high school this year. My parenting
> philosophy has always been that it's my job to get her to the point where
> she doesn't need me anymore. I have welcomed each progressive development
> as a step in that direction, so I am baffled by my utter emotional rebellion
> to this next step. I know that it's going to fly by and then she will be
> gone to college.
>
> This summer she has matured a lot. She spends a lot more time in her room.
> This is probably due to the fact that we gave her a T.V. for Christmas. Her
> taste in shows and our's is quite different. She would watch Disney 24/7.
> My husband is a Tech TV nut and I like Tnt series reruns of NYPD Blue or Law
> and Order.
> (side note: we don't watch TV constantly) Anyhow, I am not worried that she
> is showing the warning signs of hanging with the wrong crowd or getting
> high. She is taking a step in separating from me. She is the nun or
> puritan of the family. Because she tends to be
obsessive/compulsive(really,
not trying to be funny here), she doesn't swear, at least without feeling
> guilty about it, she doesn't wear clothes that are too daring; she's very
> conservative. She is also a very fair and sensitive person. I actually wish
> she could loosen up more, but she is who she is on this one. Her friends
> are all really cool. They get together and write their own Harry Potter
> short stories. They aren't afraid to be silly. They have no shyness about
> bursting into song right in front of us(and they all have pretty good > voices). >
> I can't believe we have gotten to this point. She has grown up, it seems
> like, overnight. I am intellectually aware that this is all good and where
> it should be, but my heart is rebelling big time. It really does seem like
> just 2 or 3 years ago that she was getting on the kindergarten bus. >
> Anyhow, thanks for letting me talk about this. I used to be disgusted by
> mothers who clung to their children, and I refuse to do that to her, but I
> am feeling pretty tumultuous inside.
>
> My extreme reaction to this is also a sign to me that I need to get at least
> a part time job. I have too much time to obsess about things, you know? > > KathyH
>
>