Today is my mother's funeral.
Perhaps as far back as ten years ago I noticed a new mole on her leg. Being aware of what melanoma's "signs" are I knew immediately what it was. At the time I first noticed it, it was perhaps as big as a typed letter "o", maybe even smaller. We'll never know whether having it looked at by a doctor and removed at that stage would have changed anything but I can't help but think that it may have. From what we have learned since, melanoma is very treatable during its early stages. My mother chose not to have it treated in its early stages so by the time she finally had it removed it was about as large around as a quarter dollar coin and raised from her leg by about a quarter inch. It was significant surgery to have it removed.
Because of several circumstances perhaps unique to her, the surgery affected the circulation to her foot and it became very painful for her in a similar way that mild frostbite coming out of your fingers and toes is. After the surgery she seemed to be "cancer-free" for about eight months and then she got a rash on her thigh that looked as if she'd been eating too many strawberries. It turned out that each of those rash spots was melanoma as well. She was not a suitable candidate for localized chemotherapy to her leg so a couple of more experimental treatments were used with a fair degree of success. I think these treatments will be very helpful for other people in the future and I am proud of my mother for being involved in the development of these promising advances in cancer treatment.
Perhaps because of the pain in her foot, the changes in how she walked to correct for that pain and the effects of osteoporosis, she suffered a spontaneous break to her hip about seven months ago. This seemed to exacerbate the circulation problems to her foot and she developed gangrene in her toes. The gangrene slowly spread to more of her foot. It was extremely painful for her and the decision was made to amputate her lower right leg.
To compound all the other medical issues, the pain medication she was on did not agree with her and made her nauseous. So nauseous, in fact, that she couldn't eat or drink without significant pain control. I think this, more than anything else, wore away at her. I have a picture of her about nine months before she broke her hip and she weighed about 140 lbs. At the time of her death she was about 80 lbs. We begged, threatened, bullied and would have done pretty well anything else to even get her to drink a liquid meal replacement supplement but she just couldn't do it because of the nausea.
Dehydration became one of our worst enemies, even the cancer was less of an immediate threat to her than the dehydration. She was in a care facility for rehabilitation purposes with the intent that she would be able to become stronger, get fitted for a prosthetic and come home. The care facility isn't designed to handle invasive medical treatments and when my mom quit eating and drinking they couldn't really do anything to help her. Despite increasingly manic pleas from me, even their dietician couldn't do anything invasive. The dehydration was killing her. The pain was killing her. I knew she had to get back into the hospital.
She rallied once she got some intravenous fluids into her but at this point her body was in a very weakened state. She did start to feel better though and even asked for her handiwork to be brought back to the hospital for her to work on. She could visit and talk and it was such a joy to bring her back from such an agonizing state to the point that she was enjoying life again. It was a gift to have those two additional weeks with her.
At the hospital it was determined that her condition was such that pain relief would be the priority. Although she had some difficulties with the pain medication - she often hallucinated that there were cats in her room - she was still a pleasure to be around and talk with.
She slipped into unconsciousness a day and a half before she passed away but the nurses encouraged me to continue to speak with her as hearing is "the last thing to go". I was rewarded with a smile from her during my final visit.
I am still distressed that perhaps all this could have been delayed or avoided if she had received treatment for the melanoma on her leg. Please, please learn the signs of melanoma and get treatment or medical advice if you see anything even remotely suspicious.
Please visit the following site and learn the signs of melanoma:
Please feel free to pass on this message to whomever you think may benefit from it.
- Sandy