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OT: For Fred, Bruce, Gillian, Joan, all those people !

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." (and you thought I didn't have DeGaulle to send this on to someone else.) I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

Reply to
lucretia borgia
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Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.

Fred

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nothing changes, nothing changes.Don't back stitch to email, just stitchit.

Reply to
Fred

Nice one! Here's one for those who have visited Britain or have watched British TV: A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues. It had been a bitterly cold night, but he'd never thought anything like this would happen. The realisation of the situation then dawned on him. With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage? He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his impending poverty. Just then, an elderly woman walked by, "What's the matter?" asked the old lady. The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman. Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cows noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud. One by one, the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals. The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed. She declined his offer and walked off across the field. A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer. "You know who that was don't you?" asked the passer-by. "No" said the farmer "who?"

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Reply to
Bruce

moan

Double moan

Reply to
Cheryl Isaak

Make that a triple !!!

>
Reply to
Lucille

On Tue, 10 Jul 2007 11:54:22 +0100, Bruce wrote: X-No-Archive Yes

From bad to udderly worse lol

Reply to
lucretia borgia

Okay, cut with the French, Freddie-boy! Not all of us have *any* kind of command of that language! :) Translation, please?

Joan

Reply to
Joan E.

IIRC "If Caesar was alive, you would be tied/chained to an oar.

Fred

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Reply to
Fred

"If Caesar were alive, you would be chained to an oar."

Caesar is, in fact, dead, so you need to use the subjunctive to show that you are making a statement which is contrary to fact. The same is done in the main clause: the person addressed is not in danger of being chained to an oar. so you say "would be" rather than "will be". I have long since lost what little Latin I learned in high school, but I suspect that the original is also in the subjunctive mood. (In fact, I'm pretty sure that Latin grammarians gave us the words "subjunctive" and "mood".)

Joy Beeson

Reply to
Joy Beeson

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