A couple of days ago, I had an unpleasant experience on another ng. I'd been subscribing to an ng about mysteries for a couple of weeks, had asked a few questions, received great responses, and felt quite comfortable with the "culture" there.
But last week (in a nutshell)) some very racy comments were mistakenly attibuted to me by someone who didn't take the time to figure out exactly who said what. That someone posted a public reprimand to
*ME*, telling me that this particular ng was not one that tolerated such behavior, and that (-get this-) I should just leave because everyone would killfile me anyway, and that she had already done so.The next poster quicker pointed out her error, making note of the fact that *my* post was perfectly acceptable. A quick (and not nearly sincere enough) "Oops, sorry" was offered, but I was too stunned to say much of anything at the time. Now something's bugging me.
How do people who are so quick to killfile really *know* what is & isn't tolerated? For example, I'm an avid reader of rec.gardens too, and there's some pretty childish behavior there at times. But if I killfiled every person who flung out the f-word, after a while I'd certainly begin to believe that no one on that ng uses it, even though they just don't use it on MY computer.
I'm particularly puzzled because in my short tenure on the new ng, I'd stumbled across some posts that were extremely offensive on a whole variety of levels. I'm just wondering if Miss Mistaken Identity even has a clue.
I don't think I'm going to continue to subscribe. I'm pretty thick skinned, but any enjoyment I may otherwise have gotten has been spoiled, & now all I can think of is how embarrassed someone else's error made me feel.
Comments? Relevant Thoughts?