Absolutely OT and only the Aussies will understand it all

CATS · 2007-02-23T23:05:03+00:00

Facts about Orstray'ya!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery,there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a mediabillionaire. Or, on the other hand, he could be a wharfie.There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce(theoretically speaking).On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing theminside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.All our best heroes are losers.The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from thehands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced tothe harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the late 1800s, and thedevelopment of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively,Australians may just be really hopeless with names.The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, butalso to the mosquitoes.If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then it's not worthfixing.The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one thathas the swimming pool.It's considered better to be 'down on your luck' than 'up yourself'.The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinkstoo much.If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend allnight drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he will have catered for it).If there's any sort of free event, or party, within a hundred kilometres,you'd be a mug not to go.The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take everything youown. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, then you're nottrying.The tarred road always ends just after the house of the...