OT - Ouch! says Diana

Or ABOUT her!

Cindy

Diana, Diana, Diana (accompanied by much headshaking and sorrowful looks)! What am I going to do with you? LOL - was it a rotary cutter? A carving knife? No, not the axe surely???? If it makes you feel better I was walking down the garden aisle at the local hardware and there was a sign up "Customers - do not test the sharpness of the axes on display". I wonder what they tested 'em with??

Get well soon sweetie.

My husband did the same thing a while back while making dinner. Gave new meaning to "chef salad" if you get my drift.

Feel better, Diana! The say scotch is good for these kinds of wounds. You can pour the leftovers on the cut too!

Diana, you really need to take the class I teach called 'sharp'. In lesson one, I poke all students with the scissor points. After that, when I explain that rotary cutters, needles (especially those mounted in the SM), pins, and other tools do damage, they are all believers. The next class beginning Jan 5 is booked full but we will make room for you. Now I need to go find my own danger instruction class. Is there one that teaches "an oven rack, although empty, is still hot enough to remove skin and bone"? Polly

Sorry to hear of your 'owie', Diana. Maybe a quote from the Ami Simms newsletter will distract you: A sign in a store: "All unattended children will receive an espresso and a brand new puppy." 8^) Nancycog in MD

Ouch! Scotch in an open wound? And such a waste of good scotch!

Okay, if we're supposed to make Diana laugh, let's see if I can dust off my really old joke (yes, I know you said laugh not groan, but it's the only one I really know...).

A lady was walking down the beach, depressed because her husband had left her for another woman. As she's strolling along, she comes across an ornate bottle in the sand. Picking it up she dusts off the sand and this smoke comes pouring out, making her almost drop the bottle. When the smoke clears, she sees a genie standing before her.

"Thank you for releasing me from the bottle, mistress. As a reward I will give you three wishes, but be warned that whatever you wish for, your husband will get twice as much," the genie tells her.

The lady thinks about this for a bit before asking for her first wish. "Okay," she says, "For my first wish I'd like a diamond encrusted necklace with a huge center diamond."

"You're sure?" asks the genie. "Remember, your husband will get two."

The lady nods, sure that this is what she wants and in a flash, the necklace she had envisioned is around her neck. Elsewhere in the world, two matching necklaces appear at her husband's feet.

She thinks some more and then asks "For my second wish, I'd like 10 million dollars."

Again, the genie asks if she's sure since that means her husband will get 20 million dollars. Again, she nods, and suddenly there is 10 million dollars before her on the sand. Elsewhere, 20 million dollars appears in front of her husband.

She thinks only a little about her third wish. "Genie," she says, stealing herself. "For my third wish I'd like...(wait for it...)

"you to scare me half to death."

(Commence groaning.)

Crazy glue was actually invented to close up skin as long as you didn't put it in a grater ????

Cheer up D....hmmm

Well maybe not some cheer but some relax time. Here is some Zen for you to use :)

"Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?"

"Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story."

"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems."

"Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster."

"To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist."

~KK in BC~

Hey! You better save that finger for when you REALLY need it!

Howdy! Lesson 1: if it hurts, stop doing that. Lesson 2: if you like the pain, ignore lesson 1.

How 'bout some news? From Texas: BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD

---Crawford, Texas

A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush.

The flood began in the presidential bathroom where both of the books were kept.

Both of his books have been lost.

A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one.

The White House tried to call FEMA but there was no answer.

~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat,

please to put in a penny in the old man's hat.

If you haven't got a penny then a ha'penny will do;

If you haven't got a ha'penny: God bless you!"

(FQs may be substituted for pennies, ha'pennies,

geese, or old men)

~~~

So, what's the next trick up your sleeve, D?

Got any other parts you're through with? Expendable joints?

Hey, you heard about the docs doing face transplants, huh?

Of course, I figure they have more experience in the medical

field than you, albeit you're a quilter and all that, but being

handy w/ clay... you may be on to something, girl.

~~~~~~~~

Btw, it's Dec.2, or 3, depending on geography.

Is your Christmas tree up? Decorated? Not here, either.

But the lights are twinkling merrily outside,

and it's going to be 80º tomorrow.

C'mon on over; there's Dr.Pepper in the 'fridge.

And ChexMix on the menu.

Later...

Ragmop/Sandy--wondering if she serves biscuits w/ the knuckle stew ..

and hiding my own cutters, scissors, knives, grapefruit spoons,

and any sharp wits & tongues

oh my I can just see that happening too!

a good one!

oh no - I don't think you want me to do that - nope - not at all. LOL!!

Diana, what were you carving?? A nativity scene? Or were you carving a turkey? Or a new fancy portico for the porch? OUCH!!!

Put lots of medicine on it, and Meggie-kisses. Get well soon, we'll miss you on chat!

Karen, Queen of Squishies

Oh I love those dala horses, I have 3 of 'em from Sweden. Oh di, a fourth would have made two matched pairs, but please, don't bother. In fact, toss that exacto as far away from you as you can get it.

Karen, Queen of Squishies

You call that typing???

Karen, Queen of Squishies