OT: problem solved

Love it!!

Nothing like a good chuckle to strat the day, even if it did set off a coughing fit lol

Who is his wife's lawyer? Sounds like she did good!!!! lol

that's great! even DH laughed out loud!

Kate in MI

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college.On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

OK, that makes two very LOL! jokes! What a hoot!!! Thank you both for giving me a big laugh today......I will be passing them both on.

Laurie G. in CA

Polly - you are evil! roflmao

Where was the warning on that!!!??? Still giggling KJ

Polly, shame on you! Now come wipe the beer off my monitor!

You and Val gave me some great jokes today! Thanks, both of you!

Wouldn't it be fun to tell the elephant one with just a deadpan expression and nary anyone suspecting the outcome? It's a skill you have to practice because even the slightest twinkle of an eye will give you away. I'm good at it. All my years with the Judicial System were good for something. I learned to keep a straight face through just about anything. For example: (in open court, the testimony in a capital murder case) The witness: We married each other by ourselves on the backseat of my '57 Chevrolet. The Court, interrupting the testimony: Did you have sex after you performed your own ceremony? The witness: No sir. We didn't have any protection. Polly

Val

My "OMG I gotta keep a straight face" moment from last week was the gentleman who was fighting a speeding ticket. He was going 90 in a 65 MPH zone. The officer produced the calculation sheet showing the stopping distance/time for that speed versus the speed limit. Completely dead-pan, the defendant says "That's all fine and good but, Your Honor, I wasn't going a mile more that 80MPH. Because I am so honest, I should get my charges dismissed."

Uh-huh. Yeah, right. "Here's your fine."

G> Wouldn't it be fun to tell the elephant one with just a deadpan expression

lol brings up a memory

I was a passenger in a friend's car when she was hit on the driver's side by another vehicle and pushed across an intersection into the gutter. No serious injuries, and the case eventually made it's way into court.

The other driver, with a perfectly straight face, stood up and told the magistrate that my friend had come through the intersection side on and hit the front of his car with the side of hers.

You could have heard a pin drop in the courtroom. The guy was perfectly deadpan serious in explaining what had happened (in reality he had run a red light) and he was asking that my friend pay him damages.

Scary to think that someone like that is even driving!

Maybe she should have let him do it with a 25 year old. It probably would have killed hgim and she could have all the insurance money. Then she could have all the fun she wanted!!!!!!!

Michele

Snip.....

Sometimes I wonder who or what contaminated our gene pool?????

Michele

We recently had a news item about a guy who's car had broken down. He could only get it running in reverse. He was booked driving home on the highway (200km trip) in reverse. If memory serves me, I don't think this chap had a licence either (probably already suspended for some other misdemeanour). They interviewed him and he said he had to get home so he didn't see that he had done anything so wrong.

I am so sick of drivers with the attitude that it is their RIGHT to drive. Driving is a privilege, and given that a car is considered a lethal weapon in law (given the amount of damage you can cause with one) I think jail time should be handed out to those who put others at risk with their antics. I have seen drivers go in to court and have their licence suspended, and walk out of the court and drive home. What part of "suspended" wasn't clear??

There was a police program here in the UK recently: the police were impounding and crushing cars (up to posh BMW's, some of them!) being driven by those who had no valid license or insurance. Gets a bit tricky to do that when they are driving a stolen car, but the idea is great. :)

My sentiments exactly....