ot: telemarketers

The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?"

This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?" The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood." I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.

Reply to
SNIGDIBBLY
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I LUV IT!!!!!!!!

Many years ago in the Air Force we used to have to field all UFO calls (as in the flying kind). These seemed to cluster around Xmas/New Year period - what a surprise!

Two days after Xmas one of our Air Traffic Controllers was rostered as OO (our version of OD) and walked in to relieve me carrying a small tape recorder. I asked him what was on it and he told me that when someone called (and they always did, usually at 0-dark hundred in the morning!) he assumed a very self-important tone and asked them to stay on the line. He then waited about 10 seconds and turned on the tape of wailing sirens and aircraft engine run-ups, and came back to the phone and asked for the callers exact address so that they could scramble the squadron to his location for an "alpha strike". He said he never got any replies or call-backs.

I had my own problems with calls over the "party period". A few days later (2 days after NY) I got a call from the switchboard operator at about

0230hours asking me to please take a call as they couldn't get rid of the woman on the phone. The call came through and a rather slurred voice asked for "John". The conversation went something like this:

"Can I speak to John I met him the other day at a party He said he was in the Air Force He's about this tall (obviously holding hand up for me to see!) and he has brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes"

I explained that there were about 2000 men on the base and that without some more specific information I didn't think we could help her - especially at

0230. To which the lady said that surely there was one man there who wanted to go to a party with her, couldn't I go knock on their doors and ask.

Now we were all trained to be unfailingly polite to members of the public who called the Base, no matter what the provocation. But at 0230 after 3 out of 5 days on 24hour call you get a little punchy. So I asked her if there was anything else she could tell me about John. She said he had a really nice car.

Conversation continued -

"What colour is the car?"

"Green."

"Aahhh! Well, ma'am, there's your problem. You see Green is an Army colour. Are you sure he said he was in the Air Force? If he was in the Air Force he would have a blue car because blue is an Air Force colour. If his car was green, might he have said he was in the Army?"

"Ooohhh! Yes, he might have (slurred)"

"Well that's good. Here's the number for ####Battalion down the road. I'm sure they would be glad to help you."

"OK Thanks. "(Hang Up)

Then I went and made a cup of tea and sat by the phone for a few minutes until the local Army Base OO rang and shouted down the line at me. When he paused for breath I said "Happy New Year Army" and went back to bed.

Reply to
Cheryl

omg, snigs again u r incorrigible. how come i never think of stuff like that when they call here. always at dinner time, eh. jeanne

Reply to
nzlstar*

Snigs, wherever do you get these wonderful jokes? I always look for your posts for my laugh(s) of the day!

Donna in Idaho

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Reply to
Donna in Idaho

hehehehehehe!

After a long hard day on the bombing range out at Theddlethorpe in Lincolnshire, the NCO in charge answered the phone: Hell here, duty devil speaking!

Reply to
Kate Dicey

ROTFLMAOPIMP!! Oh that is just too rich!!

Reply to
SNIGDIBBLY

I have a friend who sends me a smile - sometimes two - a day.

Reply to
SNIGDIBBLY

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