Dear Kotex,
>I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of
>"Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
>*Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
>*Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
>*Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
>*Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...
>
>Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a
>functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that
>drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we
>need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I
>triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report
back. I'll wait.
While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I guaran-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.
>Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only
>activities that interest me is eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no
>apparent reason.. ...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a
>friggen' activity?????
>
>Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene
>products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from
>elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes
>for survival, many containing alcohol & barbituates.
>Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was
>already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is
>enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.
>
>It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces
>or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put
>the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts
>discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.
>There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
>announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just
>add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that...helloooo,
>another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!
>
>So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces and
>shove them right up your a**!
>
>P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to
>your packages instead?
>
judy c on Vancouver Island