OT--Update on Tyler-one year later.

Connie, I have thought of you and Tyler often since he was injured. Hope the prayers and good thoughts will improve his condition soon! More of each on the way from Tucson.

Hello all,

I know that it has been a long time since I have posted. Some times life just gets in the way. I have been reading the group every week, though. I think I last posted last year after Veteran's Day.

For those of you who are new, or don't remember me, my name is Connie and I am from North Dakota. I have a DH of 32 years and 3 grown children, Jim-proud Dad of Walker, DD Annie, Mom of Riley and Gavin, and Tyler, who joined the Marines right after 9/11. He became "our" Marine in 2004 when I asked you all for a shower of cards for his "golden" birthday (he was 23 on November 23). In April of 2005 he was deployed to Afghanistan, and the cards and gifts and packages kept coming from you all. He appreciated it very much. On August 13, he was shot twice in a fire fight, once in the arm and once in his chest. He was sent to the hospital in Germany for about 2 weeks and then was sent back to Afghanistan with three open wounds in his chest. In less than a week, he developed a serious infection and was sent back to Germany, then to Bethesda, and finally home. After 6 weeks at home, he was sent back to Hawaii until his 4 years were up. His beautiful hug quilt that you all made for him arrived here on Veteran's day and was sent on to him in Hawaii, and came home with him this spring when he was finally sent home for good.

As to how he is doing now, the best I can say is up and down. I was outraged when he had to take out a loan in order to get out of the Marines, so he could pay for the equipment he 'lost' when he got shot. And again when they gave him a "quickie" purple heart ceremony before he left Hawaii and gave him an empty folder. And when he was rated at 20% disability by the Marines. But in the end, I was just grateful that we got him out of the Marines, and home again. The VA system is a whole new adventure. When he was home last fall, he was not able to drive due to the medications he was taking, so I had to drive him 200 miles to the VA two or three times a week. The gas bill and the phone bills from when he was in Germany were staggering. We lost phone service for quite a while until I got it paid off, and since I am on dial-up, lost internet access, too. Although several veteran's groups offered to help with the bills, none of them ever did. They have kept him running to the VA all winter and summer, but now he can drive himself. He gets to have his disability rerated by the VA, but they are moving very very slowly, hoping, I think, that some of his problems will improve. He hoped to go to college this fall, but they won't okay that at this time. If he gets a job, he risks losing all rights to a disability payment. He has been tested, retested, and tested yet again. Any career he has showed any interest in has been strongly discouraged because of his disability, and he has been discouraged from going to school in the near future because of his PTSD. His last counselor suggested he become a janitor and "skip the stress." And they wonder why he gets depressed. He still has terrible insomnia and night terrors and a high startle reflex. He is off most of the medications that he was on, especially the ones with the nasty side effects. One of the problems with VA care is that they carry only one drug for each purpose, and if you are unable to tolerate that medication, you are out of luck. He is still short of breath with exertion and his hand is still numb, but he smiles a little more now and occasionally, I see a flash of the old Ty. Every young person coming home needs a prayer now and then, whether they were wounded or not. It scares me to think of how many there are, and how they are suffering.

I had my internet service back for a little while and lost it again when there was a lightning strike in my yard, and the charge followed the phone line in and blew out my modem. But now, that is fixed, too, and I am able to post to the group again. I have been able to keep up with you all by reading the newsgroup at work every week but I don't like to post from there.

Thank you so much for all of the emails of encouragement in the last year and those recently, asking for an update. Knowing someone cares helps alot.

Connie from ND

I'm so sorry, Connie. I do hope things get better for Tyler and soon.

(((HUGS))) to you and Tyler.

Sadly your VA sounds about as responsive and helpful as ours here in Oz. I hope he gets a better answer next time around.

Gently snipped..

Good to hear from you again, and thanks for the update on Tyler. prayers will continue here for as full a recovery as possible.

It seems mad that he has to pay for equipment lost when he was shot. Just weird... Now, if he'd flung it away and run off in a panic, I could understand it, but not when he was shot fighting for his country. (I won't get started on the war itself. Life's way too short!) Do they charge the families of aircrew who get shot down millions of dollars for a new aircraft?

The way we treat the young men who serve our country is a sin and has been that way since the GI benefits after WW2 expired.

L>Sadly your VA sounds about as responsive and helpful as ours

Hi Connie Welcome back and thanks for the update. It really is frustrating for a mother to watch these things happen to our adult children, isn't it? I think it was easier when they were still children, and we had some choice in what doctors they saw and what treatment to pursue. I am watching one of my sons go thru similar hoops with an insurance company after being injured in a car accident where he was stopped at a red light and his truck was rear-ended. (Where he lives you cannont sue someone for damages) He's been out of work for almost 2 years now with no cures in sight. Hang in there Mom!

Marilyn in sunny (today) Alberta

It's an embarrassment the way these young heroes are treated. Wishing you and yours much happiness ahead.

Nancy in NS

The two of you continue to be in my prayers. Hugs to you. Hope everything with the VA is resolved soon!!!

Connie,

I won't even get started about how I think this country treats its combat soldiers--the post would take too long and this isn't the appropriate venue. However, I am glad that Tyler is making personal progress, even if he must go slow due to the bureaucratic constraints. He is still young, and at that age, these delays must seem to last forever, but they will pass. Your family has been through so much, but it sounds like things are on the upswing. Sending continued positive thoughts your way.

Michelle in NV

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear there has been some progress and will continue to pray for more.

This week end my niece married a Mar>Hello all,