OT: Need to vent...LONG

Deb, You are so right about the unknowns involved. You don't even know how old these children are. There is such a big difference in ages when a child should be impressed by a grandparent, parent or a police officer. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and everything. The postoffice delivered a package to us, but we were not home and it was raining so they left it on the neighbors porch with a note on our door telling us where it was. The neighbor was not home when I sent DS to get the box, but he brought it back off the porch - he was five at the time and I stood at our door and watched him. It was something I had bought for him so I let him open the package. A couple of weeks later he was riding his bike out front on the sidewalk and saw a package on the neighbors porch, asumed it was ours too and brought it home. He also asumed it was for him and opened it as he had done the very same thing just two weeks ago. Our neighbor was very understanding. I had known her since I was a small child myself and she knew my children well. DS apologized and offered to help her plant some of her flowers because he had done a 'bad thing.' Involving the police in a situation like that would have trauamatized my five year old. There are times when children have to do something wrong before they can be taught that it is wrong. How many parents teach their children in advance not to pick up a candy bar at the check out lane and put it in their pocket before it happend for the first time? Sandy

"Deb in AR" wrote in message news:htdjh.11432$ snipped-for-privacy@newssvr11.news.prodigy.net...

Well if had children you would realize that kids can actually learn a lesson without the need to have a good scare put into them. The policemans visit will fade quicker than a parent sitting down and explaining why they shouldn't have done what they did and what other actions could be taken should they feel tempted to do it again.

Whether it flies in your book or not kids will be kids and they are going to make mistakes. Kids will push to see what the limits are, we did, ou parents did........it is just the way it is. Kids also act out when something is bothering them or they want attention. I remember going through hell with my son when he was about 11, all the sudden my well behaved little boy had turned into a meanie. It took some time but I eventually found out what was behind it, he was being mistreated at school by a couple of other boys who were craftier than he was and did things they knew would cause my son to react. They were smart enough to do things behind the teachers back and my son was not so he was getting in trouble. I talked to the teacher and she talked to the other kids and found out what was happening. It was addressed and his behavior improved.

I know that you weren't advocating having them arrested or anything like that. The fact is we don't know whether anyone has tried to teach them right from wrong and I guess I have faith that most parents try to do the right thing. I know my one son has gotten into minor trouble once or twice and it wasn't because I didn't teach him right from wrong or that there were no consequences at home when he did something wrong, it was more of a case of him being too immature to avoid peer pressure and acting on impulse rather than reason. He turned out to be a fine young man and a law abiding citizen......and we managed to pull it off without any visit from the police.

I am glad that the situation has been handled in the matter that made everyone happy. I too was just venting.

{{{{getting off the bandwagon and back to the craft table}}}}

I'm sorry if I offended anyone in here. Bad week, unfortunately I took it out on this situation.

xoxo Kate

{{sitting on the naughty stair}}}

You are a blessed person Deb. You children are as special as they are because you set a good example for them. Love, compassion and empathy seem to be in short supply these days but here you are overflowing with good fruit!

I think perhaps I should apologise to you. Deb summed up what I was trying to say but was able to do it in a nicer manner then I ever could. I'm sorry I got snippy. I took it too personally when you assumed that the parents are not doing their job when their children make mistakes.

Deb I'm sorry this all happened to you at all let alone this time of year. Yes it could have been worse. Yes you got most of the things back. That however doesn't take the fact that it happened away! No one knows the kids situation and therefore no one should pass judgement. Maybe try to find out a little more about the kids involved ie. ages, who do they live with ect. Maybe you could speak to them and explain how it made you feel and why and let them know they aren't bad but what they did was bad. Some strong opinions have been expressed on this issue but you know what you can live with and what you can't and you can pray for this situation, that's the best thing to do! God Bless! Barb:o)

{{{{hugs}}}}

Kate

{{{back to the naughty stair}}} (a.k.a. Higby Time Out area)