Buy 3 large tins of spam and some bungy cord... A loaf of rye bread some smoked salmon and good ham tomatoes: the big ripe juicy sort! cream cheese...
Take an old leather safety glove and cut a large oval out of the palm. Cut tw 6" lenths of bungy cord and sew to each end of the leather. Nip out the back and pick up a good springy forked twig from the back yard... Construct your catapoult.
Lie in wait behind the shed, and when the troll lumbers past, fire the spam at it. When it passes out, truss with the remaining bungy cord and leave behind the compost heap.
Go indoors and construct a cream cheese, tomato, and smoked salmon sandwich, and one the same with ham. Use plenty of pepper.
Sit beside the patio doors, watching the troll shivver as you eat the sandwiches. Some nice hot Green & Blacks drinking chocolate will go down surprizingly well with this.