First take that rusting hulk of an industrial sewing machine someone dumped in your garage 'because you LOVE all those old machines' out and hoist it onto the shed roof, down beside the vegetable garden... When the troll wanders past, push the machine over the roof onto it. You MAY be lucky and score a direct hit, but chances are you'll trap it by one foot. If this is so, whack it with the garden spade until it stops hollering. Drag it off behind the compost heap.
Go dig up some new potatoes and pick lettuces and spring onions, radishes and capsicums, and tomatoes.
Construct a huge and delicious green salad, new potato salad, and serve with BBQ'd sausages and chops. Follow with fresh strawberries warm from the garden and whipped cream...
Once the troll has stopped moaning, break it up and use the lumps for a new rockery or water feature.