Not that far ahead of you in time but a lot farther down the slippery slope of "tools and accessories" - the part of turning you don't see when you get a lathe and a few gouges and chisels. Then there's the stuff to keep them sharp - white wheels, blue wheels, slow speed grinders, special jigs for fingernail grinds, leather wheels, stropping compounds, slip stones, diamond paste, . . .
If you have a fireplace or wood burning stove half of each cord of wood for it will never become ashes - piles and piles of chips and saw dust - but never ahses. The guys who have wood lots will see you coming and turn on the CLOSED sign -or begin making plans for that vacation in the Bahamas they've been dreaming about.
And catalogs will begin to fill your mailbox. Flyers from a wood merchant in Indonesia will mysteriously appear on your coffee table. Your e-mail in box will begin receiving "For the descriminating turner" messages.
You'll see trees, and even bushes, in a different way. "If I 'prune' that branch right here . . .." At some point a bandsaw will become a necessity and then bowls and plates and Vahses begin to fill shelves and table tops. Stuff that was metal or ceramic are replaced by wood - spoons, salt shakers, pepper grinders. All the kids in the neighborhood will have Magic Wands. Every female you know with long hair will have at least two nicely turned rosewood or maple or cherry hair sticks. Every drawer and door pull in your home will be replaced with unique ones you've turned.
Sealed paper bags will begin to fill the sets of shelves you built for turning books. Buckets, pails, pots and pans will fill corners and drivewa space - filled with a mysterious orange or greenish liquid - something lurking just below the surface.
Every plant on your property will be surrounded by fresh "mulch".
The cut offs you use to throw away or burn will now be sorted by type and filed away in boxes for some future project - a segmented bowl perhaps. You're wife will keep a picture of you "from before" next to the back door so she'll know if it's you or an intruder coming through it.
You'll start soaking chips from aromatic turnings in alcohol and using it as cologne.
Jars and cans of witches brew - boiled linseed oil / bees wax / varnish, 6 pound cut garnet shellac, carnuba, candelia wax, lemon and walnut oil, eye of newt, toe of frog . . . To be - or not to be. What was the question again?
You won't have to worry about dandruf - "oh that's just sawdust."
At some point you'll evolve into a Rotationiste, wear a poncho, frayed khaki shorts, clogs and an ebony eye patch. That's when an agent will find you. You'll develop a taste for brie and fruity wines. Terms like "negative space", "juxtaposition" and "asymetry" will work their way into your everyday vocabulary. Before you know it, turning will actually pay for itself. Beware, however, for it can become a JOB!
THAT'S WHEN YOU TAKE UP PAINTING OR NEEDLE POINT.
Welcome to Turners Anonymous Bob. The coffee and donuts are over there.
charlie b