Re: OT Re: Going to be gone UPDATE

How sad it is when someone is that bitter. I hope your MILFH finds peace in her life, sooner rather than later. Important to remember that it's her problem though, and not yours. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally the best you can. This may sound weird, but sometimes the most healing thing we can do for ourselves is to forgive those who have hurt us. It returns power and responsibility for our lives and our feelings back to our own hands... Good luck, sweetie...

Sheesh, that is her grandchild your carrying and I just can't understand someone that is so heartless and vindictive about their grandchild. Sounds like you and your dh are better off without them but yet, I feel bad for your dh to. Its too bad his mother is such a nasty person.

Jo Jo

Welcome back, Karlee. I'm so sorry to hear about hubby's uncle and all the family problems. I am glad to hear that your baby is doing fine - take it easy and keep that baby in for a little while longer! ((((hugs))))

KISSES and hugs to you, Sweet Karlee and to Ellie, through you. You don't have to read all the posts. Just do what you want, and thanks for staying connected to us. I'm sorry you have been through so much lately.

Becki "In between the moon and you, the angels have a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.." -- Counting Crows

Karlee -- your husband sounds like the sweetest thing alive. I am sorry he came with such a horrid mother. I could tell you some family stories from my mother's funeral that would make your hair stand on end. Sometimes we just come THROUGH our families to this earth. I am glad you found the family (your own) that really loves you.

Becki "In between the moon and you, the angels have a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.." -- Counting Crows

And removes power from those who have used it to hurt us... it gives us a surge of returning energy, which is no longer tied up in resentment and anger, and we get to use it however we want, because it is ours again.

Deirdre

Argh I'm sorry you had to go through so much crap! I hope the meds do the trick and you can soon be off them, I hope Ellie stays put until she's nice and ready, and I hope your MIL gets therapy.

Take care of yourself,

That lady needs to take a long trip to a hot place.

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Karlee in Kansas" :

]Karlee in Kansas, who realizes that some people are alive simply because its illegal to kill them

amen. i've got this list . . .

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

Bill of Rights - Void where prohibited by Law.Regime Change in 2004 - The life you save may be your own.

Dear Karlee, Here's the part I can't agree with--you are NOT horrible for not apologising. Nor are you beyond caring, or you'd not be protective or angry. You care plenty about what counts, and that's good.

Personally, I am so glad that you feel no need to apologise. It indicates a healthy desire to protect yourself and your family members, especially the little ones. Please don't feel ANY need to get on better with that old shrew, she hurts people and animals. None of you need that in your lives. This is Toxic Behavior on her part, and you don't need to drink her poison to be "nice", OK?? Just say " NO", as you have been doing. Do as you feel best, and it doesn't feel at ALL good to be around people like her. And please, please continue to keep her away from your children. Abuse is horrible, and what you describe is definately abuse. Sarajane

Sarajane's Polymer Clay Gallery

view my auctions at:

Wow, that woman is NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD.

I can understand the impulse to hit a child. I've felt it! I've smacked their little bottoms and then wished I hadn't; it's not productive, it just makes them mad and resentful. I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT imagine the impulse to beat a child senseless. Especially a 3-year-old baby. Your MIL is a horrible, horrible person. That one sentence says it all. Beat him with a CRIB SLAT? My god. Keep her far, far away. Some people are just misunderstood, and some are BAD.

Given the people you've described that you come from, you are much more likely to get honest love back from the critters and the plants. Stick with them, and your DH and your kids. As Dierdre and several others pointed out in a recent thread to me, you can't win with those kinds of negative people. There is NO WAY to do things well or ever come out anything but wrong. So please know that you don't have to spend yur energy running races you can't win, and where the judges are throwing rocks. Stay away from that kind of negativity when you can, it eats at you when you don't, doesn't it? My family, the one from which I came, was/is very negative in many ways too, and I speak from experience here--you can only find and keep happiness when you are not in the presence of those who need to destroy it in you for their own satisfaction/comfort. I'm not meaning to insult your lineage--but you have some toxic stuff there, and its OK to distance yourself from it, the same way you'd pull yourself and the kids and the critters away from an out of control fire. Sarajane

Sarajane's Polymer Clay Gallery

view my auctions at:

Yes, she was abused as a child, and by Mikes dad. Although I don't buy into the theory that this is why she is the way that she is. Mike was abused as a kidlet and adolescent, and he turned out just fine. I was beaten severely in my early adult-hood years, and I don't beat my child or animals, nor think that the world owes me something. I got help. I rose above what happened. Both Mike and I are breaking the cycle. It can be done, and should be done.

She is a very bitter woman, not to mention jealous, but that does not mean that I need to bow to her every whim because she was dealt a bad hand. At 53 some odd years old, she is old enough to take responsibility for her actions, and get help if that is what is needed. She just thinks that there is nothing wrong with her, its the rest of the world that is fu*ked up.

I fully believe that some people should NOT be allowed to become parents. Of course, I also believe that there should either be arial spraying of Prozac, or Prozac salt licks placed strategically around the nation (if not both).

Hugs Karlee in Kansas

I know the -pattern- very well.

The more deeply unconscious someone is, the more likely they are to put their problems "out there", instead of seeing their own part in creating the circumstances that displease or thwart them.

The second one becomes aware "Hey! If I change what *I* am doing, some of this stuff I don't like about what is happening to me will change too!", real life-solutions begin to be possible. But most people like your MIL will die without ever getting close to that transforming step of actively taking responsibility -- for the whole of their lives. Even though *not* taking responsibility is what seals them into their chronic feeling of personal powerlessness ... which is at the root of most abusive behavior.

If she can't have power over her own life, her own feelings, then she'll by god show that she has power over the baby, or the dog.

Everybody stuck in a scenario like this loses. Everybody. Getting out is the sanest, most positive thing you can do. She may -never- stop playing power-games until there is no one left to have power over. And then she will undoubtedly still be cursing those who left for 'abandoning' her, instead of sticking around for more abuse.

Deirdre

problem, its always someone else.

I have very often) because she will

the cards that either she has chosen to

her rather unhappy childhood, but I know

and still turn out alright.

Ya, you betcha!

Deirdre

If we all did this, the world would change -- overnight. And not for the worse, either.

It is a hard thing to begin to do, because of all the programming we absorb that says "Don't go there!", but once you start, it is like growing wings.

Deirdre

The flip side of Nascissism might be "Codependency". If I change someone else it will change me and my life. You can't fix anyone else. And if you could, it wouldn't fix you.

This doesn't necessarily equate to your observations, Dierdre, but it's part of this whole complex.

Tina

the problem, its always someone else.

feeling that I have very often) because she will

bitter over the cards that either she has chosen to

being on her rather unhappy childhood, but I know

she did, and still turn out alright.

I havent seen the movie, but Im guessing that aside from the occasional 'ya, sure, you betcha' you hardly fit the stereotype. You dont eat lutefisk do you? Diana