OT - I think this child is going to be a talker

"it's written like a diary. and the main character is an autistic boy of about 15. and he wants to solve a mystery."

Sounds good! Is it hardback or paperback? And who wrote it?

~Candace~ your local hemp goddess :)

Yeah, but you guys have interests aside from the kids. I was responding to Vicki's comment about regretting the fact that she occasionally was driven batty by them... I say, waste no time on such a silly regret. If she hadn't sometimes wanted to gnaw her own foot off to get away, it would mean that she was subsuming her entire being, her whole personality, in being a caregiver to her children. All human beings need to feed their own souls, their own personalities and interests, and that means that sometimes even we mothers will feel the strong desire to be LEFT ALONE by our young.

There is no reason to feel guilty or regretful about not having basked blissfully in their childhoods for ever blessed minute of it. And if you had absolutely nullified your own individuality in order to do so, you would be doing your kids no favor anyway. Just imagine for a moment the horror of being raised by a mother who literally had nothing to do... and nothing she wanted to do... but bask in your presence and watch everything you do. And imagine how you would feel when you then became a mother, imagining that you had to give up EVERYTHING in order to be one!

There are definitely times I wish there was nothing else I *had* to do besides be a mom. There are also times when I feel like there's no time in my life for me to do anything but be a mom. But the bottom line is, being online, making beads, having a conversation with a friend, or for heaven's sakes taking a bath all by myself without anyone asking me to tie their shoe or get them a glass of water are all times when I am excercising other parts of my personality, and I plan to keep those parts excercised.

There is nothing bad about moms having boundaries. It teaches kids that they, too, can have boundaries. It teaches kids that other human beings don't exist to serve them. (Think; spouses and employees, later in life.) Vicki, you may have at times wanted to climb a tree to get away from the endless demands and chatter... and why not? Mothers are people too. Don't regret it, and don't wish for the time back. Your kids are all living, healthy adults. With boundaries and a sense of individuality.

On the flip side, I recognize that NOT EVERYONE HAS A NEED FOR ALONE TIME. If you're one of those people, and you thrive on constant hubbub and human contact, and you love having kids swarm you constantly, there's not a damn thing wrong with you, either!

-Kalera

Goodnight, room.

And goodnight, moon.

-Kalera

~Candace~ your local hemp goddess :)

Kalera, I'm taking away your soap box *grin* I agree with all that you said. Just keep in mind that sometimes, the times that you feel you don't have time for anything but being a mother are all crammed together. So it gets hard to see beyond it. :)

~Candace~ your local hemp goddess :)

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from snipped-for-privacy@aol.comuhuh (Candace) :

]Sounds good! Is it hardback or paperback? And who wrote it?

the curious incident of the dog in the night-time by: Mark Haddon (c) July 2003

i don't know if it's going to be going to PB or not. it's not a very long book - but it contains a great deal about how his mind works, what works for him, what doesn't, what upsets him and why, etc.

Mark Haddon is not the character - he did work with autistic children and writes books for children.

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from Kalera Stratton :

]On the flip side, I recognize that NOT EVERYONE HAS A NEED FOR ALONE ]TIME. If you're one of those people, and you thrive on constant hubbub ]and human contact, and you love having kids swarm you constantly, ]there's not a damn thing wrong with you, either!

i think that's probably part of my problem. i DO love having my kids around most of the time. or my grandkids. there just isn't ENOUGH of it for me now. "back when", i was either at work or at home with them. and yes, some days i wanted to run away from home... but it doesn't work that way until they are older.

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

I'll MAKE time to check out my library this weekend, although I doubt they have it...they never have anything good *sighs* comes with being a small town library, and not having an inter(intra?)-library loan system. But I need to go anyways, so I'll be sure to see if they have it. Thanks, vicki :)

~Candace~ your local hemp goddess :)

On Fri, 7 May 2004 13:45:13 -0400, Candace wrote (in message ):

Especially when the kids are small. When DD was a baby, I used to look forward to going food shopping just because I could leave her at home with Bob. It was so wonderful to have that hour with no one hanging on me, barfing down my back. It sounds silly now, but just that being able to have a few minutes with no one touching me felt like a huge luxury.

I have a good balance now. I'm alone a lot of the time, because DD is at school, and Bob is at work. And when they're home, there is always a swirl of activity. I do miss going to work, though. I loved going to work, and would like the opportunity to see people who aren't relatives on a regular basis.

Kathy N-V

On Fri, 7 May 2004 13:05:31 -0400, Kalera Stratton wrote (in message ):

That made me chuckle. I had to have read that book ten thousand times, and we had to look for the mousie on each page before going on to the next. God help me if I had skipped even a syllable of the story.

DD and I still know that one pretty much by heart, along with "Where the Wild Things Are." I wish we could find a wolf suit just like Max's.

Goodnight stars, goodnight air, Goodnight people everywhere.

Kathy N-V

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from Kathy N-V :

]DD and I still know that one pretty much by heart, along with "Where the Wild ]Things Are."

ah - but do you know "Professor Wormbog in Search for the ZipperumpAZoo"?

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from Kathy N-V :

]It sounds silly now, but just that being able to have ]a few minutes with no one touching me felt like a huge luxury.

that's it! i seldom had anyone to leave them WITH, tho, so those moments were especially treasured. and the week when one was away at summer camp and the other was home worked, because i could concentrate on one at a time. the year they both went to camp the same week, i freaked. i had absolutely no idea what to do with my time!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

There's a (WONDERFUL) store here called Goodnight Room. ~~ Sooz

------- "Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance ~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links