LOL! I have a similar story...When I was dating then-DBF-now-DH, my girlfriend and I were at their place (he lived with a couple other guys) and we decided to make biscuits (our kind, not your cookie- type). We put them in the oven. A while later....."Is something burning?" ACK! Biscuits! We had gotten a bit preoccupied (no, not that kind! LOL) and forgot about them. But it wasn't just our fault...they failed to mention that the oven is hotter than what it was set at. Do you know what a hockey puck looks like? Yes, that's our biscuits!!! Black throughnthrough. DBF threw one against the garage wall and it didn't even break! He even took a picture of them, which he still has, and brings them up at least once a year!
btw, did said horse eat the cake or just play with it?
Dear old Clancy. I don't know what he did with it. He took off around McClure's corner and we never saw that frisbee - er, cake again. Maybe old Mr McClure nicked it for his morning tea?
Remember back in the sixties and seventies when people used to pull baby girls' hair up into a ponytail on the very apex of their heads? Kids looked as though they had a fountain sprouting out of their branes! Well, Madame's tumour was a variation on that theme, I think... It started as a ponytail but was then bound and nailed down so that it looked exactly as though a portion of Madame's head had suddenly erupted up in a spherical lump about six inches high. Madame, of course, had responded to this phenomenon by capitalising on it! She tied on her black velvet ribbon, whacked it into a bow and added M. 'ocking's diamond to finish the ensemble.
More recently:
There's a lady who lives down the end of our street who has five boys and a little girl, Clare. Clare is in DD's class at school and this poor, benighted child has lived its entire life with a tumour on its head very similar to the one sported by my Madame. Every morning of her life, Clare has her hair scrupulously scraped into a Fountain on top of her head by her mother (who clearly doesn't know any better). It wasn't so bad when she was younger, because Clare's hair is very pretty and silky and the fountain flowed quite nicely down her head. But she's recently had her hair cut and now the fountain is stiff and bristly and more closely resembles one of those fibre optic lamps (the ones with the spray of coloured bristles). *Not* a good look! The thing about Fountainhead (that's what the Ugly Sister and I call the hairstyle) is that it alters the apparent shape of the kid's head, making it look more like a cone! Why would a loving parent want to do that, I wonder?
And then, of course, there's the Peanut-Headed Baby phenomenon!
In this modern era, there is a race of human beings which surreptitiously endeavours to form the heads of its offspring into the shape of a large peanut. This 'enhancement' is only practiced on girl-children, whose baby heads are purposely constricted by the addition of an elastic or ribbon band around their tiny, plastic skulls, thus setting up ideal conditions to form the desirable constriction approximately half-way down the kid's head. Usually a bow or piece of phloof is added to same as a 'decoration', but often the band stands alone as mute testament to the parent's hidden agenda.
When questioned about the reasons behind this odd desire, the parents generally reply that 'Everyone thinks she's a boy. I'm just advertising her feminine gender! And besides, it looks pretty!'
This common misconception masks the actual desire of the parents for their female offspring to achieve Operant Peanut-Headedness in the shortest time possible. The desire is, no doubt, an expression of the parent's own Peanut-Head Envy. Maybe not, though... There have been cases where a child has been recorded wearing the phloof *without* the associated Peanut Constrictor. The attachment of such isolated phloofs can be achieved by gluing or pinning them to the vestigial infant hair. These Isolate Phloofs rarely stay in place for long, however, and simply fall off in the supermarket (fortunately for the afflicted children).
The phloof, of course, often takes many forms, depending upon the ethnic and religious associations of the parent. The simple bow may be supplanted by a hunk of fur, marabou, artificial jewels or even plastic flowers! As if their baby isn't decorative enough, these parents feel a need to add PVC, acrylic or worse, *animal* products for its enhancement! And all the time, the baby skull is inexorably being compressed into that most desirable of shapes: The Peanut!
The impact of all this upon the millinery industry has yet to be quantified and few studies have been done on the aesthetic and measurable aspects of the Peanut-Heading race. For example, no studies have yet been done to investigate causal relationships between the relative elasticity of the Peanut Constrictor and the child's head circumference. The addition of phloof may or may not affect the development of the child and may or may not have significant implications for its own self-fulfilling prophecy. Indeed, the heritability of the Peanut-Heading phenomenon has yet to be investigated! It may be that entire genealogies of Peanut-Heading women exist, passing the trait on to their daughters and grand-daughters.
As an addendum, it must be noted that Peanut-Headedness is rarely observed in the adult, although various sub-cultures exist that appear to continue the attempt at Operant Peanut-Headedness. The Hippies of the
1960s, for example, spent approximately a decade wearing bands of various compositions around their heads, often adorned with flowers, beads or feathers (adult phloof, cf. infantile phloof)
Of course, the implications for further study are enormous! For example, what effect, if any, does Operant Peanut-Headedness have upon brain capacity? Is there a relationship between the Peanut Constrictor and, say, the Alice Band or the elastic headband? What are the religious implications? What about the future? And why do perpetrators only choose female children as a subject for Operant Peanut-Headedness? Why not add little bits of blue phloof to Peanut Constrictors attached to *boy* babies.
The future holds the answers to these questions and more...
And then there is the ridiculous look adopted by parents of a bushy-haired child, in which they make a round pouf on either side of the top of the head, making the child look like she has Mickey Mouse ears.
LOL. Le petit ami, was a widower (sad story, wife killed in car crash when they were very young, with 2 little kids - IIRC about 2 for the son and 4 for the daughter - he raised them solo) about 10 or so years older than me - so I was actually closer to the kids in age it seemed. And got to practice/learn a lot of French slang - as the kids were in college (like post high school year) and the other just in university and Michel was a very youthful 40+. Hey, everyone needs a French beau if the opportunity arises - at least for a time. We lasted about 2+ years, most of the time I was there, and then long distance for about 9 months (with visits). Point being - you're right - they do love puns, and heck, they would laugh a lot with the translations of "my leetle cabbage" vs "my leetle creampuff" or "mon petit fill in the blank" . Heck, there are so many ways to refer to one's boy/girl friend with different connotations - it can be daunting. Let alone how many "petit bisou" are a greeting - age, region, familiarity (not so much sex) all coming into play. I just love starting working mornings with a series of handshakes and petit bisou - and then when my American colleagues would be over for a meeting - the confusion on their faces as the locals and I were a bit different (doing 3 generally) as opposed to just a handshake, or one lonely little kiss hello. Even funnier when the French colleague/friends were here for work.
Just laughing about this. I never had them until I was an adult, and now like them - though not too often. However, they are one of DH's favorites, along with asparagus. And our furry son - Puckster the Springer Spaniel - has evidently inherited his dad's taste buds. Yes, boys and girls, our dog eats Brussels Sprouts. Pretty weird. But, we limit them - for fear of any ill and stinky effects.
Ut oh, Marg. You'll start the sprout wars - to X or not to X - that is the queston. I have to agree with Sheena, IIRC, depending on size, they can be done without the X - but generally, I do the X if they're biggish sprouts. Recently did the roasting on a sheet pan with some olive oil and seasoning
An old school friend of ours started doing her hair that way about 25 years ago (prior to that she had a very attractive bob which really suited her). Most of us were of the opinion that the new hair style was just a cheap "Face lift".
This was borne out the other week when one of our old friends called on her early in the morning when both her hair (and her face) hadn`t yet been tightened up for the day, resulting in the passable imitation of a bloodhound!
'Blast-ended skrewts' or 'little pills of poison'. They taste
*disgusting* - hasn't any of you noticed that small factor? You can pile white sauce or gravy or anything you like on them - they still taste like liquid fertiliser! AND the aftertaste remains for hours. 'Fart capsules' isn't far wrong, either. You can't imagine what it's like to go into DD's room after she's eaten the filthy little things!
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