Wedding Sampler Quandry

ago, and she

afraid

Suze -- I have a feeling this is a no-go. You might say something like, "It's getting close to the wedding. If you wanted me to get something done for So-&-So's wedding, I need to get started now. If you've changed your mind, that's fine." I can understand your disappointment, but non-stitchers just have no idea what they're asking when they say they want us to stitch something for them, whether they're paying for supplies only or even the piddly sum of a penny a stitch that is the industry-standard for model stitchers but doesn't come close to approximating the worth of our labor. When they're faced with the dollar amount, most blanche and find other things to talk about.

Perhaps you could do the VS sampler for some other purpose. If it's the one I saw recently, it could be modified easily by changing the phrase.

Helen in Washington, the State

Suze,

I'd just forget about it.

Cheryl

I agree with your sense that DMIL has decided to just drop the whole thing based on the prices you quoted her and her complaints about all her other expenses. Either that or she's hoping that you'll do it anyway and she can get away without having to pay you.

So if it were me, I would only stitch that sampler if it was what *I* wanted to do, as opposed to what MIL wanted me to do. And frankly, I'd stitch the VS piece for myself (assuming I had someone in my life, of course) before I stitched it for anyone else.

Jenn L.

--

Even if you chose a pattern & materials that were cheaper, the cost of framing the piece will still considerably outweigh the cost of materials. Since she didn't go for $80, I'd bet she definitely won't want to pay for part of the framing cost either.

If you really have your heart set on stitching something, and you're willing to pay for the materials yourself, another alternative to framing would be to finish the piece as a bell pull. I did this for VS's Heirloom Anniversary Sampler when I stitched it for my parent's

From your description, I fear that DMIL has abandoned the idea.

If YOU want to stitch this for the granddaughter, then go for it. But don't expect anyone else to help pay for it. It sounds like this is a dead issue.

Don't feel badly. This happens all the time. As someone else pointed out, our needlework skills simply aren't appreciated when it comes to adding dollars and cents to the task.

Dianne

present from you for , (is it your husband's )niece.

Mostly I've been painting lately, but even so, I mat the needlework or painting , wrap it in shrink wrap, (which I tape,) and suggest that the recipient would like to chose a frame to fit her decor. It's cheaper. ;)

I would tactfully mention it to her in an off hand manner and go from there.

Most likely she is not really interested since she balked at the cost quote you already gave her. She probably thought to herself, "How much can some cloth and thread cost?", never dreaming the reality of it.

Personally, I would ask her one more time if she's interested, and tell her you understand if the cost makes this idea prohibitive for her. I would give her a graceful way out, personally. Even if she can afford it, she may not feel that it's worth it. You and I might feel very differently, but some people Just Don't Get It. She might come back and say she wants you to go ahead and do it, but then ask what she's willing to contribute and decide for yourself if you're willing to kick in the rest. If you want to do the piece, do it and give it as a gift from yourself and your husband.

Best wishes, Ericka

If you leave this matter without discussing it , it might surfe out one time in years to come ,,,, Best way is to approach her and explain that 1. it takes time , and esp now after your operation , it will take more than the `usual` time, Thus you have to know if she stil is interested.

1. This are the prices , and you gave a cheaper price , `family rates`. You appreciate her asking you , but you need to know where you both stand on the above. ps maybe yopu have a finnished project she likes to buy from you . mirjam

I have run into this type of situation time and time again. I am a retired cabinet maker and furniture maker. Our House if full of furniture and things I have made. My wifes friends come over and say "Oh, could you see if your husband could make me one of those?" When my wife approaches me with the offer and I tell her that it would cost XXXX dollars to replicate what we have, even if I pay myself very little in terms of wages, the interested party soon withdraws from the negotiations. I then asume they head to Walmart and buy something that meets their price range. People that don't do the craft don't have any idea as to the cost in time and materials that goes into the production of the item of their desire. I much prefer to make something for my Nieces, or other relatives, like a Hope chest or other piece of furniture and give it freely to them to have and keep forever than to try to justify something that somebody else conciders "too expensive. The same applies to needlework or any other craft that is time and labor intensive. Everybody want's the lovely things but nobody want's to pay for them.

John Taylor

You have it exactly right except for one thing. Some people cannot understand why your item is pricey. At a craft fair I lingered and looked at some wonderful stained glass work. A few stands further along was 'stained glass' made with poured, melted plastic. I overheard one person (who was buying) congratulating herself she had not bought at the last stand with the inflated prices for the same thing. So she really was happy with hers as she could not see the difference.

So if you sell your work cheaply, you might just be giving it to someone who will put it aside shortly when they see another 'better' piece lol

Not an unusual amount, especially if you're using linen. Would you be able to use a less expensive material?

As someone else mentioned, the framing is going to be considerably more than the cost of supplies and she'll probably drop her drawers when she finds out that cost!

If she does still want you to do it but still grumbles about the amount, make sure that you let her know that you're not charging for the stitching time, which would make the project considerably *more* expensive. After all, your time is just as precious as hers is! You could figure out before hand the stitch count and go by that (penny per stitch) or guesstimate at the number of hours and multiply by minimum wage, which would let her know just how cheaply she's getting by with just purchasing materials!!!

Whether or not you go ahead with the project, she'll know that it's not something you take lightly and that you value your time.

Good luck with whatever happens!

Joan

John Taylor wrote: > Everybody want's the lovely things but nobody want's

My daughter continually asks me to make/embroider things for her friends and relatives. I always respectfully decline. I recently designed a baby blanket and she just drooled and wanted to use it for a charity auction. (I said I'd think about it). Then she wanted a silk embroidered dress for her new neice. When I mention cost of materials, the request normally gets pushed onto the back burner. She definitely appreciates and respects the artform, but monetarily doesn't "get it". At her baby shower, many of the guests wanted the teddy bear I made and heavily embroidered in wool. A price was asked. I said "$300". End of story. Dianne

I have found that I had to spend time educating peple as to why a piece of furniture, that is museum reproduction quality, that is put together with hand cut dovetails and mortise and tennons, finished with 4-5 coats of hand rubbed varnish and stain and then waxed is more labor intensive than something that "looks just like" that which is available from the local mass produced furniture store and is put together with pressboard interiors and stapled together drawers and spray plastic finish. If they have never truely been exposed to the intracascies of solid wood construction, they have no idea what is involved. I have come across the same thing when asked about doing some needlepoint pieces for people. Something that is18 point canvas and Appleton yarn and might take upwards of a month to complete, is not valued even at minimum wage for the labor value that goes into it. I would rather give it as a gift than be insulted by the lack of valuation of my time for pay.

I did a neeldlepoint piece for my wife so that she could auction it off at a charity raffle that she was partisipating in. I made the frame and mounted and matted it. It did bring the most money that I have ever recieved for a needlepoint but it was far less than the amount it's time value to produce justified. In this case I did it with the understanding that it was for a good cause. No problem there. I also did a complete set of theatre furniture pieces for a period play that one of her other groups was putting on, to raise money . That too was also done gratis. In both these instances the groups involved were more than appreciative of my efforts and I concidered it just payment. I think that differs from people who are buying the item for themselves and then can't understand why you won't work for nothing so that they can have the benefit of luxury items at a pittance cost. This is a long standing sore point with me. End of rant.

The best I ever saw was a friend who did a cutesy picture of six kittens in crewel, framed it inexpensively. She's a quick worker and it took her very little time. Almost to her disgust, it was raffled in aid of a local animal shelter and raised nearly $500 without hesitation. She was happy for them, but as she said, how come she can't sell her work like that ??

Why not take on something smaller?

My thanks to everyone who offered suggestions. :-) I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner but I've been under the weather since I made the original post. Sorry for this blanket reply, but I'm still not feeling quite up to snuff and don't have enough concentration to reply individually to everyone. (See, clear as mud, I am. LOL) I tend to agree with everyone who said to consider this a no-go. As much as I love my DMIL, she can be a pain about some things and I don't mean just where money's concerned. I've been through this with her often before. She'll come up with an idea for doing something and then decide to drop it just because she'll decide it'll take too much time, money, or whatever. Even if it's something she really wanted to do to begin with, let just one problem come up and that's that. There's usually no changing her mind.

I'm really not interested in getting the full value for my time and effort since it's not as though I'm trying to sell this to anyone. I consider this as more of a gift than anything and only expected payment for materials, as she originally said she would do. After all, she was the one who approached me about it. I might bring it up again but first I'm waiting for a decision from DH, since it is his niece. He might decide we'll just pay for it all ourselves to make it a present just from us, or he might decide I should do something a little cheaper. Though I hate to make us sound like skinflints, our budget is rather limited compared to DMIL's. So I'll wait for DH to decide what he wants to do and go from there.

I think someone asked which one it was, so here's a link.

Oh how gorgeous!

I just spent $250-$300 for a frame job for something of similar dimensions. It would have been over $500 if I had gone with the original frame I picked - an Italian one. I didn't realize what I had picked at first! After I got over the sticker shock (really, I haven't yet) I told the guy that I really loved my sister but couldn't afford to love her that much! He showed me a very similar "local" frame that cost half as much. I still liked the Italian one better but the other one was a good compromise.

Both frames were "double frames" - the main outside piece and another, matching, thin piece that slides under the mat on the inside to compliment the piece. What a wonderful effect! Eliminates the need for a double mat.

Tara