Hug quilt discussion

Agreed: that also brings another side to it that maybe doesn't get considered. When someone's been a part of RCTQ for a long time and has things going on in their life such that they might seem to be in the hug-recipient class, but nobody suggests/follows thru/does a hug for them----and yet they see someone's second cousin's father-in-law (or what have you) get a hug----how do you reckon that makes them feel?

Now of course the real answer is (any/all of the following):

1) boy, your timing at having your life tank sucked, nobody's free 2) you don't make as big a deal of how bad things are to the group as other people do 3) you don't have a "buddy" in the group who hops up to say "boy, he/she needs a hug"---either you're not close to anybody, or you're close to the wrong anybodies for that purpose.

But I'm betting how it *feels* is "I'm not as valued around here as EuphemiaSue, I guess, since even her Aunt Betsy we've never seen gets more sympathy than I do."

I suppose it would twinge under any terms like that not to get a hug, but having them go to friends of relatives of neighbors of cousins (granted, exaggeration) has gotta make it worse.

--pig of a zillion baby quilt tops, none inspired, but a couple of those disappearing nine patch ones having possibilities....... :)

Howdy!

I should clarify: I will gladly add a couple of dollars along WITH a block or square of fabric. But when it comes to collecting cash AS the Hug-- no.

Sometimes in the Baseball Swap the "kitty" gets a little low, mailing expenses are higher than some of the swappers expect, so we all send a dollar or two to replenish the shipping $kitty.

But for Hugs, if I've volunteered to take on the quilt, I expect to take on the expenses for backing & batting, too. Of course, some of the Huggers are always generous and remember that expense. ;-) Cheers, Lia.

R/Sandy

m,

Wow! I have read every post concerning HUGS. I have been the person coming out of a store and a young man asks me if I have any spare change so he could get a burger (very respectfully and gently.) I didn't have any spare cash on me(and even if I had, probably wouldn't have given it to him)...it was Christmas time, dh was in hospital, major appliances were on the fritz, etc,etc... Anyway, I had just bought cupcakes for my kids and myself as a cheer up. I handed him my cupcake and told him Merry Christmas! I went without, but the delight on his face was enough for me as he peeked into the bag and discovered it was a cupcake....a fancy one at that. For me participating in a hug would be the same way. I have had someone reach out to me unexpectadly and lend a helping hand....made me cry to know that there are still kind people (including strangers) out there.

I have done my share of giving and receiving. I am a firm believer in the human spirit and will continue to believe in angels on earth. It's a persons choice to or not to participate in whatever they so choose. I don't care one way or another who the recipient of a hug is, just knowing they are a human in need of support is enough for me. Launie, in Oregon

I have never helped with a hug quilt, because I am not good yet but plan on getting that way one day and when I do I will help. Now I would not mind sending money for the backing and other stuff, even prior to getting good. I have never been hugged either so I can say what I want about them. :)

I feel like the hug quilts are just like helping someone on the street. A few weeks ago I got a call that there was a man in town and he had two kids and was out of gas. Being I do not live in town I told our preacher if he had some money to go fill the guys tank up and I would pay him for it on Sunday. Now I really could have used that money being I am on disability but I waste a lot of my own money on things I enjoy and that was just something that I didn't have to worry about wasting. We later found out the guy was scamming the entire town. He didn't need that gas wasn't even out of gas, but I gave it with a cheerful heart and someone apologized to me for getting me involved. My feelings toward that guy have not changed, well I wouldn't help him again right now for sure, but I might later. I feel like people that scam people will get there just dues at a later date. Those of us that are Christians knows he has to answer to God some day about this scam he pulled off. I figure I will help when I can and if it is a scam, well he/she has to face the good Lord with that one and I shouldn't be worried about it. I think the same would go for a hug quilt.

Jacqueline in KY

Jacqueline in Kentucky, USA

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I have considered this, Megan, many, many times; but, as I haven't been able to think of a solution, I realise there is probably nothing that can be done. I'm glad you raised it, though. It is something we ought to consider more often. Trouble is, when everything is done by suggestion and volunteering, 'rules' cannot be instituted or implemented. It is why I generally stick to Hugs for members of RCTQ . . In message , Megan Zurawicz writes

Maybe I'm horribly naive, but I like to think that 99% of requests for Hug quilts and people who post on here are genuine.

I haven't contributed to HUGS recently because of so much else going on but have in the past. It doesn't cost me much in time and money to make one block or send some fabric, and I would take the risk that 1 in 100 is a faker because the other 99 are genuine.

Morag

I haven't posted or read much lately as using my hands for almost anything is causing me quite some distress - have even had to have my waist length hair chopped to shoulder length - now that was shattering!! I haven't picked up a needle in months, although I still look at quilty magazines and books and am well on the way to picking out the queen sized quilt I'll be doing when my hands are "back to norman" as my DDs call it. I'll be going in for surgery tomorrow to remove the built up scar tissue, so my HUG will truly come into it's own. But I digress.....

I was so very honoured and privileged to receive a HUG a few years back. I'd been going through some tough times and I'd walked in the door and DH said "this box came for you". I had no immediate recollection of the name on the box and hadn't ordered anything so I carefully opened it. When I saw the riot of colours, the wonderful, gorgeous froggies, I burst into tears with it in my arms. DH asked why I was crying and all I could blubber out was "It's a HUG from the group". It was all he needed because he knew about the HUGs I'd participated in, and he knew what all they were about.

That quilt means more to me than any of the ones I've made myself. It means more than DH's Nightmare Quilt (and y'all know how hard I worked on that). It sits proudly on the back of my couch chair and every time I pass it, I look at a block, read a name, stroke it, admire it.

When I'm cold, it warms me. When I'm sad, it brings joy. When times are dark, it brings light. When I'm alone and scared and worried it brings comfort, and company. The stitching mayn't be perfect (although it looks durn good to me), some points may be a bit off, but it is the love, the wishes, the hugs and warmth, the feelings from each individual that went into that quilt that gives it it's value. To me, it is like the mastercard ads - priceless.

As others have said, and I have felt, of late over the last year or so, there have been HUGS requested for every person and their next door neighbours cousin down the road. Whilst I have sent a quiet good wish to those people, I have not sent a block. For most part because whilst I "know" the person requesting, I don't know, don't have any connection with the recipient and as such don't feel that the block I sent would have the special magic that HUG blocks truly contain. Whilst I would not say don't make HUGS for those people or don't ask for HUGS for them, I would say you may ask, and leave it to those on the HUG list to decide. Perhaps they could be given a different name - "wish" quilts, or "thinkies". Perhaps we could reserve HUG quilts for those directly in our group?

The same with those who have mentioned they have never received a HUG and would like them. HUGs cannot be requested or demanded. They are given voluntarily, with the heart and with love. This is what contains the true HUG magic.

That's actually a great way to look at things, Morag. I'm sure you're right. I'll try to adopt it as a more favourable mind-set. Thank you for putting it so simply. . In message , Morag in Scotland writes

Responding to myself to clarify some issues.....I am in NO WAY trying to whine about never getting a HUG, I'm just trying to point out that not everybody receives a HUG and that's ok. We really need to look at the situation when they are presented and it is a personal choice as to if we want to contribute or not. Do we really need to get into this much of a debate?? We all have our own take on HUGS and our participation - some send $1 or more to help out with expenses, some just send blocks, and some just pray for the person the HUG is being made for....whatever we do we do it from our hearts and that's really what I think the point of a HUG is.

Having said that, I still have an article from MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) from my dear friend that this group helped make a HUG for. She was going through a rough time and didn't even have money for groceries, much less getting anything for the children for Christmas....you guys so totally made the HUG gorgeous and filled with love and even though I thanked the group then, I want to thank you all again. Larisa

I believe that the generosity and love that the members of rctq express with every hug quilt is one of the things that make this an extremely special and unique usenet group. There's nothing like rctq in the whole world, in any interest. I remember back in the 90's when the usenet first started up - this group was started and I joined. Someone a long time ago mailed me a large envelope of "rose of Sharon" patterns/designs just because I didn't know what R of S was. In the years since then I've met up with quilters from all over the world, and enjoyed every single time. I've participated in I don't know how many hugs, including the deceivers, and have been the blessed recipient of a hug when my Dad died. I wouldn't change a thing.

It has occurred to me, also, that a hug is a lot like a good deed that may apparently go unnoticed or even be spoiled by a thief. How do we know where that hug will end up and who it may help? As I said - I wouldn't change a thing.

Musicmaker

I make HUG blocks (time permitting) because it's fun, I love making blocks, gives me a chance to try ideas, gives me a use for some of my growing stack of odd blocks. I use pieces from the Scrap Basket, it's not a big investment. So I figure the occasional "undeserving" recipient is no big deal. Most of the people I encounter, especially on this ng, are givers, and thus more blessed. IMO the spiteful rippers-off will eventually create their own punishment. I refuse to worry about it. Roberta in D

"Karen, Queen of Squishies" schrieb im Newsbeitrag news:Eu3lj.309881$Fc.305977@attbi_s21...

I can tell you how I feel...I've been on the group a long time and never received a hug, but have participated in many. I've honestly never felt bad or rejected for not receiving one but fortunately I don't have the troubles which most HUG recipeients have experienced. But I love how I feel when I participate in HUGs and that's good enough!

I admit I don't freely share my troubles as I'm naturally a private person. Since I don't, I can't expect people to be mind readers!

And, whenever I've posted a prayer/good thoughts request the response is always amazing. This is a great group.

-Irene

I appreciate any quilt related discussions posted on this group. I think that anyone on the hug list can either make a block or not, depending upon their feelings about the recipient. Also, anyone who has put together a quilt knows the various costs involved, and can either choose or not to include a buck or two.

I always try to contribute at least a block and a few bucks for anyone on the list. After that I pick and choose depending upon the relationship.

I think I would rather err on the side of providing a hug.

Sharon, perhaps she thought you could fondle the fabric. I hope that you can sew again soon.

At present I'm not on the HUG list, but I was, and hope to join again in future. I've enjoyed having an externally defined project to work on; not my colours, style, or whatever.

There have been some proposed quilts that I chose not to make blocks for. Some of those were because I did not feel involved with the situation or person, some were because of lack of time. At least one had very particular requirements, and I felt inadequate to meet them.

In most cases, Hug blocks have been made from stash, so if the request is for, say, pink ginghams and I have nothing like that, I then decide if I'm sufficiently motivated by the request to go out and buy gingham.

As for the $ contribution, I've included it when I had a US$1 around. Like the special fabrics, I'd rarely make a special trip to the bank to change currency.

I'm glad that people are pleased with their HUGs. I think most of the recipients appreciate the thought and effort they show.

Lee

One of them was the challenge to see if she could get us to make another one for her. The kicker is, she lied about her physical conditions, etc. to get the first one. I don't remember how that was found out. But in revenge for being called out on it, she said she'd be back, and get another one.

And she did. Then some people on the ng started to post about contacting the police, or her husband, or both. Obviously she was reading those posts, got spooked, and sent the second hug quilt back. And we don't know if she's here now or not. Not really.

But, I've decided not to worry about any of it. All of this discussion was good for all of us, including me.

Karen, Queen of Squishies

I want to make something clear, also, when I said I have never been hugged, I didn't mean it as a complaint. I am thankful that I have not had any of the problems that cause people to want to make a hug quilt. I'm certain that if I ever do I will receive one but for now. I am happy to be who and what I am and not to have anything but a few health issues, but nothing that would make a hug necessary, although a physical hug from time to time is needed to cheer me up when everything is going bad. I am sure you all know what I mean.

Jacqueline in KY Jacqueline in Kentucky, USA

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This has been a very interesting thread. I would tend to agree with Morag that most HUG requests are genuine. Or at least I would treat them as genuine since when I have the time available I have very much enjoyed helping out with them. Although maybe part of that is because I have only helped out with a HUGs that I feel a connection to in some way. So, yes, someone gets a HUG quilt, but I also feel good too.

Allison in Montreal

Morag > Maybe I'm horribly naive, but I like to think that 99% of requests for

I have a guilty secret. I get pleasure out of making Hug blocks. No matter how it turns out in the end, I feel good about the process.

If we get scammed or the quilt is sold for a million bucks or it gets used as a dog bed (even better!), it doesn't take away from how good it makes me feel to have contributed.

Those who host Hugs are gaining even more Karma points. That is an unbelievable undertaking. And dealing with sometimes difficult personalities plus all the flakiness that abounds in this group, it _is_ like herding cats.

But then I'm weird. I don't mind paying taxes either.

Except sales tax. I hate that one.

Cindy