Hug quilt discussion

hmmmm....

if the situation warrents a HUG, then we should do one...death in the family..including QI's...is a must. I cant imagine NOT doing one for that reason. Our unconditional love comes thru in those times. Other reasons may only need our support on the thread, ie: prayers, good thoughts, etc. you're right, the expense time and effort would be all for naught if the receiver wasnt appreciative. But, manners arent taught here. they're taught at home, right?

just IMHO

amy in CNY

I tend to be one of those "I'll give you the shirt off my back" kinda folks. I don't know why, but it makes *me* happy and I have no desire to change. When I can fit making a hug block(s) into my crazy life I like the feeling I get from helping someone to get past whatever (usually sad) situation warranted the hug. I don't mind sending a few dollars with the block- it certainly helps the hug hostess! I hosted my first hug with Kellie's- it was work and it was a bit expensive- but I took that into consideration when I volunteered. I also was a bit nervous about would I make the quilt into something that would appeal to her- was it too 'jazzy'- was it too bright- would she like my rather unique layout and other decisions, etc. It was a labor of love and I am soooo glad I did it. I immediately volunteered for the next hug quilt, but someone beat me to it!

In spite of some hugs going missing and some not being truly justified (as in 'we got ripped off') I think the hug quilts are a good thing. The feel-good feeling for both the folks who send in blocks and money and the person(s) who finish the hugs are blessed. And the recipient- oh my gosh- that quilt means sooooooooo much!!!

One thing I'd suggest is we be careful who receives the blocks for finishing the quilt. (And they NEED to be made aware that there is a cost to them for finishing the quilt and that the hug loses some of it's power when it's finished a long time after the event that prompted the need for the hug quilt.) There are two hug quilts that went missing several years ago that still hurt my heart for the intended recipients. I feel so badly that they don't know how much we care because they never got their hugs.

So, I vote we should/need to continue with the hugs. It's voluntary. If there's a core of hug quilt supporters that donate to every hug, then they obviously enjoy it as I do. The rest can donate as they are able. One thing that has bothered me- it's possible someone here might feel that there has been an event in their life that maybe should have brought out a call for a hug and we didn't make one for them. That could cause someone some hurt..... That's a tough call.

BTW- have we been ripped off again- is that why you are asking?

Leslie, Missy & The Furbabies in MO.

I make blocks whenever I can for these. I hope we don't get ripped off but since I can't read anyones mind, I look at who's requesting (do I know them on the group) and try to help. I think it's a great thing we do and I hope to never need one.

Denny in Fort Wayne

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Karen, Queen of Squishies wrote:

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I was wondering about the added expance for the hug quilts. How do you handle batting, backing, and sashing cost? Maybe there should be a fund setup for those purposes, if anyone would like to donate.

It's just a thought I know how expensive that can be.

Alicia

Most folks include a few dollars with their blocks. The total expense for the backing, batting, etc. is born by the person(s) who do that step of the process (less the donations) as well as the costs to mail the hug during the various steps of finishing it and then mailing the finished hug to the recipient. You need to be aware of the costs before you volunteer to take on any step of the process- be sure you have the time and the financial resources.

And it's so very, very worth it!!! Hug quilts are simply magic!

Leslie, Missy & The Furbabies in MO.

I'm not asking for names, of course, but when has someone intentionally ripped off the HUGgers???!!!

Me personally, while I'd be upset at being "ripped off," and I *would* more than likely complain about it, it's better to err on the side of caution, I would think. While I hate the thought of being ripped off or decieved, I think it would be worse to deny someone a HUG when they really need it.

Likewise, we're all individuals and what's devastating for one might not be devastating for another ... so I wouldn't just set the criteria at being whether or not there's been a death in the family (or a QI) ... heartbreak, loss of income, or loss of home can be equally devastating. :(

Just my two pennies! (Just bought a batch of batiks - Karen, I think you know what I'm talking about!!! ;) Yay!!!!)

-- Connie :)

I haven't been involved in the most recent Hugs, since my name apparently fell off the list. It happens. My feeling on the Hugs is that we should do them, but I do think we need to be careful. A few times in the past, we've been asked to do a Hug for a friend of a second cousin's nephew-in-law (or some such thing ), and I tend to think those are a bit much. I think of Hugs as being for people in this group, which is large enough to keep us busy most of the time. At one point we had people asking for a Hug for themselves, since they'd "never had one"

-- I'm not wild about that, either.

OTOH, all of us on the list are completely free *not* to contribute to any Hugs we don't want/have time to participate in, so that does sort of take care of the "problem" I outlined above.

Yes, you can see that I have strong feelings here .... ;)

There was a time in this group when someone spitefully pretended to have countless troubles and got us twice for hugs.She gloated that she would get us again. I think not; several of us are vigilantly watching. Like Leslie, I'll give you the shirt off my back. Stealing from a group of warm-hearted huggers is quite another matter. Polly

Connie- Several years ago a person joined our rctq group, earned our trust and exaggerated (lied about) situations in her life. She managed, by using different names and situations, to get TWO hugs from us that were not warranted. One rctq-er even visited her from the UK when they developed a 'friendship' and found the hug recipient wasn't desperately ill at all. It turns out it was all lies. She returned the second hug quilt with the statement (threat) she'd be back and get another one from us.

Also, there have been hug requests go out and the person receiving the hug blocks never assembled it. Reminders were ignored and then the hostess's email account was closed. The hug(s) was never assembled nor delivered to the huggee. That was very sad- and I wonder what she did with all the blocks. I hope they nag at her every day! GRRRR!

Leslie, Missy & The Furbabies in MO.

The hug quilt is a very special part of this group, it should keep on giving hugs to those who need it. I could send money when it's needed, if I can join you all nice people. Dixie, still freezing in NB.

When I give to you something I made with my hands I share my heart.

Dixie, unlike the directory, anybody- active members/posters, inactive members and lurkers alike- are ALWAYS welcome to join in on any hug! Prolly we would want an established and active member for hosting the hug- since we've had troubles with the hug blocks not getting to where they were intended in a finished quilt- but everybody is very welcome to send blocks for every hug. And a few $$$ is always a really thoughtful gesture, too. ;-)

Leslie, Missy & The Furbabies in MO.

Carole D. - Retired and loving it in the foothills of NW Georgia

My quilts, crafts, QIs, and more -

I look at it as being very careful who we make one for. I truly dislike the requests to make one for "friends, relatives of neighbors, people not in the group, brother-in -law's father etc." I've gotten so I won't make blocks for this type of request. Before I start a war, this is all I'll say. Gen

Karen, do we know that the person(s) who have ripped us off really wanted a quilt that badly? Or was it just a challenge for them to try to get us to make one for them? Either way, if I have any thoughts that there might not be a true reason for a Hug, I probably wouldn't contribute.

That said, I'll continue to contribute when I can, and I'll continue to be the hug-maker periodically (by the way, thanks to those of you who toss a dollar or two in with your blocks - it's very much appreciated). I think Hugs are special expressions of love for the people we've come to know and care for in this group.

I'm curious to know what's prompting the question?

Karen, Queen of Squishies wrote:

I have made five {{{Quilts}}} now and four of them were made with blocks from this group. I did all the work -- block construction, layout using donated Hug Blocks, assembly of the top, quilting, binding and delivery of three of the finished quilts. This means I KNOW first hand the time & expense involved in making a (((Quilt))). Fortunately, I have known all five of the recipients so there was no possibility of getting "ripped off". I feel that if one of us thinks there is a need for a {{{Quilt}}} then we should just go ahead and make the quilt. I don't think we, as a group, need to be worried about getting "ripped off". As Karen says, if the person doing the "ripping off" is that desperate for a {{{Quilt}}} then s/he needs one. Sure, it is for unbelievably selfish reasons but that's something we have no control over. All we can do is what we think is right and proper and THAT is to answer the call for blocks to make a {{{Quilt}}} for someone who appears to be in need of one. The work comes from our hearts and *that* is its own reward. When the "ripping off" happens, the person I feel "sorry" for is the one who put out the call for blocks. That poor soul has to be absolutely horrified to learn that the recipient was so greedy! I don't recall hearing about any recent "ripping off" but I have been traveling a lot so not reading all the posts. It seems all of the recent {{{Quilts}}} have been for our own members or for someone fairly well known to the person asking for blocks. Regardless, we will be ripped off again at some point in time, I am sure. I just don't think that means we need to be worried about it all the time. Besides, working on Hug blocks or the actual {{{Quilt}}} will keep us off the streets at night :-). CiaoMeow >^;;^<

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at

I keep a record of all the hugs I have contributed to since June 2005, so I actually started after the 'rip offs' I think, although I remember the exposure. Someone asking for a Hug or pretending to need one? Somehow takes me to Fairy-tale land, and a Hug quilt being magic. The magic hug only works for the good - the bad one did send the quilt back didn't she.

So many of us have met or been in contact personally with at least one other group member so there is someone to vouch for most people's existance.

I think that the ones that really niggle me are the couple where I made blocks, posted them off, and there are still '?'s written in the Delivered column on my chart - i.e. the quilt never appeared. One at least of these was for two quilts (2 members of a family) and I think that perhaps the volunteer had taken on far more than she realised, and just ended up digging a big hole and climbing in it. Perhaps if she had said she had taken on too much someone could have shared the load. Anyone volunteering to do a hug and then finding life got too big should be able to say they were overwhelmed, and someone else could take over or help. If they just keep quiet for --years, they must get wobbly knees everytime they think about it.

But on the whole I want to contribute to Hugs for the group. I agree that a hug for seomone's second-cousin-once-removed is perhaps going a bit far, but I take a hug request for someone's close relative as a hug for the group member really - by doing a block I am helping the person I 'know' feel better - so thats a hug for them.

Its especially good to see a photo of a hug too - its exciting hunting (and trying to remember what you are hunting for!) for your block. This year I am taking photos of mine so I know!

So a special thank you to all those talented people who think out the wonderful settings for so many diverse blocks. They are all inspirational

Sally at the Seaside ~~~~~~~~~~ (uk)

Sandy wrote:

I tend to agree with Gen here folks .. we are a group of very caring people for sure. But as everyone has mentioned, there comes a point where making a HUG is stretched beyond what I personally feel is something I want to be involved in. When someone from the group loses a relative or QI or a very dear friend, fine - let's go for it; but when the relations are getting waaaaaaaaay out there like BIL's father's cousin, I just don't feel as good about it. I love making a block and have made many over the years - it's a really good feeling to know you made someone feel happy, that people do care. I remember when the *rip-offs* occurred and was schocked that someone could stoop so low, but they're out there. Like someone said, if she needed a quilt that bad, so be it. Thankfully it doesn't happen that often. I asked a question on this group a while back - something like - is no one keeping the HUG site up? (not that I'd know how to do such a thing) - but I got no response at all to that question. I think it was just going thru my mind, like someone else said, that some of the HUGS are just not getting made, which is a shame. I'll continue to contribute to the HUG requests for sure because I too would give the shirt off my back to make someone feel a little better. I'm glad Karen brought this up, so we can get everyone's feelings about it.

Sharon (N.B.)