OT Humour - Written & Spoken English

Grammarians and linguists of the world unite . . . . . you have nothing to lose but your right to "correct" speech!!

Ok, I'm gonna probably reveal my elderly, rural status, but I was raised in the South on a steady diet of the King James Version of the Bible. We were read Bible stories from it as very young children, sat through entire Sunday sermons (no kiddie version back t hen) and recited memorized scripture from first grade on. And that was just church. In elementary school we were expected to memorize and recite on poem per month through seventh grade.

The upshot of this is that I love, love, love words. Words and fabric, LOL. Now if I could just find a way to meld the t wo I would be in heaven. But in the years my children have been in school, I have watched the language be stripped and juvenilized in an attempt to make it "accessible".

I know this is the height of old-fogeyism, but.... if kids of my generation could "access" the language and learn the things we learned, why can't kids of my sons' generation?

And you really don't want to get me going on texting. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Sunny, hoping all of you are 1337 and loving it!

Got another Norfolk one for you - Ingoldisthorpe - tiny village which is between Kings Lynn (Lynn) and Hunstanton (Hunston) which is pronounced Inglesthorpe...

Suzie B

Wow, the sad part of that is....... I read it without even stumbling since I text with my kids all the time now. It is cheaper for them to text me than call on the cell phones and it is also the best way for me to not get them calling my cell during work hours. They text me with the information they want me to know and I text back with the real information and directions! LOL

So...... I hate text words and hate seeing it in letters and emails, see you later = some form of normalcy for my eyes thanks to the every changing world of technology and teenagers. :-P

~KK in BC~

Sally, The American Heritage Dictionary does not have 'e' for that usage. Pati is correct on the pronunciation on that one though, IMO. Here is what AHD says.

rout: disorderly retreat, etc. (rhymes with out) route: road, course or customary line of travel, etc. (1 rhymes with boot; 2 rhymes with out)

So, it appears that most Americans, when talking about roads use the second pronunciation. Around here, that is the custom, especially when the word Route is a proper name, included in the name of the road. Sometimes I hear the first pronunciation for the common name, or generic route.

Trivia question: in the old T.V. show "Route 66," how was the word Route pronounced?

PAT > Pati Cook wrote:

I know that one! (and I didn't even see the show LOL)

ROOT

cause I get my kicks on root 66

Suzie, I know you told us how Worchestershire is pronounced, but now I can't remember! I do sorta remember that it isn't pronounced the way it looks?

I believe it was pronounced "Root 66"..

Howdy!

;-D

St. John, which we might say is "Sa> very, very near ...!

What's 1337???

Oh, please, YES! Where's Wendy when we need her? ;)

Except in SC, where it IS Saint John! LOL Barbara

Apparently they prefer 'Riven' (but remember to roll your 'r's at the beginning as its a Scottish name!) but I've never actually met anyone with that name.

My father had two friends who were brothers (but not on speaking terms!)

One's surname was Heathcote - pronounced Heath-coat the other was Heathcote pronounced Heth c't

"~KK in BC~" wrote in message news:qEH%h.10459$au6.9952@edtnps90...

KK, this is NOT a personal attack on your post. Parents at work on cells to their kids and who knows who else has become so very common. Several companies around here have started trying to ban personal cell phones at work because of disruptions and productive down time. I'm pretty much, with few exceptions, on the side of the employer on this one.

I drove a truck working heavy construction and any phone calls to me went through my dispatcher and were conveyed over the open company radios. Any sort of personal communication devices where absolutely forbidden on the job sites. This company wasn't cold hearted BUT there was a job to get done, you were getting paid to do it, time IS money and superfluous outside interruptions weren't tolerated for long. If there was an about to deliver pregnant wife or serious family illness or crisis you let them know when you got to work and they would patch these private calls directly to the foreman's cell, he'd find you, hand his cell to you out on the job and usually say...park your equipment, get in my truck, you need to go home, hospital or where ever while you were talking and he was driving you to your personal vehicle. You knew when most people were getting a phone message delivered when the dispatcher said "land line your half" (spouse) or "land line your 4" (call home). It didn't take too many of these to be looking for another job if those calls damned well weren't emergencies. We were being paid to work. If your family could not be left on a regular daily basis without supervision you had the choice to hire a sitter, get a caretaker, put them in daycare or find alternate employment. Men getting constant calls from wives or significant others weren't tolerated either. My first dispatch message to call my '4' required having to park my truck, get the foreman's pick-up, drive to the company trailer office phone and call home only to find out that the party of the first part wanted to know if he could go have dinner at the home of the party of the second part. "NO! We'll talk when I get home." *CLICK* When I got home I let them know I was WORKING. At work I am NOT a parent unless there is an EMERGENCY. This clearly printed sign was then posted on the kitchen bulletin board above the chore lists.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EMERGENCY** CALLS ONLY!! (for your own health, well being and longevity read this carefully and often)

Dispatch.....### - #### (phone number)

** Emergencies are only; hard labor, gun shots, broken bones, bleeding, fire, flood

HARD LABOR pertains to ''child birth" not chore disputes.....not applicable, NOT an emergency

GUN SHOTS.......call 911 and stay low.

BROKEN BONES......call 911 then call dispatch or have ER call dispatch. I'll meet you at the ER.

BLEEDING.....arterial bleeding only.....veins flow (apply firm direct pressure and mop up the floor) arteries pump, apply VERY firm direct pressure, call 911 then call dispatch.....in that order. If blood is flowing faster than you can mop, refer to 'arterial bleeding'. I'll meet you at the ER.

FIRE......if you can't put it out in less than 5 seconds call 911 and leave the house, call dispatch from the neighbor's house.......if you can put it out clean things up before I get home.

FLOOD.....you know where the main water line shut off valve is, USE IT! Mop up the mess before I get home. If flooding is from a source other than our home call 911 and grab something that floats and hang on until I get home or the choppers pick you up.

Emergency calls do NOT begin with or include phrases such as....Can I....He said.....He did.....How do I.....I wanna.....Where did you put.....I can't find....Need bail money....etc.

You have been blessed by emerging from a gene pool of exceptional intelligence......Deal with it!

All off home ground activities will be approved 24 hours before said activity....approval for "I forgot to ask/tell you" activities is NOT an emergency.

Unless you have approval to receive mail at this address you do not have approval to be at this address while parent is not at home unless prior approval has been granted.......requesting approval is NOT an emergency.

All minors better be on home ground and chores done when parent arrives home unless missing minor was abducted. (Abductions: call 911 then call dispatch.)

Any and all violators of these rules will be dealt with accordingly when your VERY ticked off mother gets home from WORK. It will NOT be pretty.

I Love You ALL very much, Mom ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the years after this sign was posted I got only two phone calls during work....one from the school telling me my child was on his way to the ER; skate boarding down an outdoor stair railing; broken arm. I immediately left work, legitimate emergency. THE boss-man even offered to drive me to the hospital if I was too upset. Like I said, they weren't without heart. The second was from the local Seattle PD precinct with a laughing desk Sgt. telling me the boys had ridden their bikes (big no-no since leaving the home ground property for recreational purposes without prior permission was STRONGLY discouraged) through a car wash and were in tears (these are 3 young teen-age boys, mind you), practically on their knees praying and begging to just be locked up in jail but pullllll-eeeeeeze DON'T call Mom at work. I was then assured they were safe and sound, even being fed and sitting in the day room. I could pick them up after work....which I did.....no charges were filed and the officers where still laughing about them when I got there. These kids actually grew up to be healthy, well adjusted, responsible, resourceful, educated, contributing adults without the use of ubiquitous 'umbilical cord' cell phones. And the companies I worked for got a full day's work for their full day's pay. Imagine that. However,I'm just an old fogy with old fashioned high standards for work ethics and self reliance and intelligent responsibility and believe, as a parent, you should pass this on to your children, but what do I know.

Well, so much for *that* vent session..... Val

I REALLY enjoyed reading your post, VAL!

: > They text me with the information they want me to know and I text back : > with the real information and directions! LOL : >

: : KK, this is NOT a personal attack on your post. Parents at work on cells to : their kids and who knows who else has become so very common. Several : companies around here have started trying to ban personal cell phones at : work because of disruptions and productive down time. I'm pretty much, with : few exceptions, on the side of the employer on this one. :

Oh I don't take it personal at all! I happen to be on the side of the schools here when they tend to take away cell phones when the kids are texting each other or making calls or playing games on them. It does interfere. I guess I didn't really put my words clearly here. I don't use it daily when I am at work, nor do I text my kids daily in school. I am talking about things like directions to a cadet function and times, or reminders to head to the dentist or doctor after school and what have you. It is not a multiple daily task to disrupt them during school hours and for the most part, I text them on my coffee break and lunch and they text me back at lunch or after school. I agree they are a distraction for the most part but I do have to say I enjoy the knowledge that I can contact my children when I need to in a matter of seconds.

I have taken away their phones from them on a few occasions and they do know the rules and the schools enforce the rules as well. It has even come down to some days when teachers check phones and texts on them randomly and if the name isn't mom or dad or emergency, then usually they will lose the phone for the day to the office.

~KK in BC~ who has also taught her kids to not call work for trivial stuff, they better be bleeding or calling from an ambulance for the most part.

Val wrote: A vent worthy of a standing ovation! Liz

Val

I just LOVE that sign. I wish more people were like you!! And I am willing to place a substantial wager that your kids (OK - maybe secretly!) appreciated having clear rules and limits.

I never had to deal with kids, but I had a different type of "Sign" that I used to hang on my front door when I was in the Air Force. I had visitors (guests, not duty visits) when I lived off-base from all ranks and civilians, at all hours, and there were ground rules at my house(s) too!

This sign (with minor variations according to location) hung on the door of 8 houses over 10 years.

___________________________

Within this house ?Houe Rules? apply absolutely.

There is only one ?House Rule? - it?s my house so I make the rules.

This residence is run solely for the benefit of the cats (hereafter referred to as the ?Rulers of All They Survey? or "Rulers").

I (Cheryl, hereafter referred to as ?Management?) am graciously permitted me to reside with them for the purpose of opening tins, packets and doors.

The Rulers have right of way in all areas.

If you upset the Rulers they will take it out on Management and then Management will get upset (and you really don?t want to upset me because I am a trained killer with very high marksmanship scores).

The following subjects are not to be discussed unless all present can maintain the proper perspective and sense of humour required to have a meaningful dialogue:

- Race

- Religion

- Politics

- Anything else Management may choose to add to the list from time to time

Rank stops at the front door except for duty visits or by prior arrangement with me ? ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. Senior officers are "encouraged" to remove their rank slides for the duration of their non-duty visits.

Persons found to be in breach of the above will be subject to flogging with Management?s choice of soggy newspapers or used tea bags. Repeat offenders may also be dunked in the fish pond (when I had a pond) and pelted with stale bread rolls.

You have been warned.

Welcome to my home!

____________________________________

I have had a 2star rank visitor drop in on the weekend, and I did not expect the army Corporal from next door to stand to attention when he walked in. He was introduced and then I loaned him a sweatshirt to wear. He was there to scrounge some cookies for his 6yo daughter and she (the CPL) was there to have a coffee and chat. Everyone knew the rules (and if they didn't they WERE literally posted on the front door) and if they didn't like them they could call me beforehand or stay away!

I only twice killed a subject of conversation that was getting a bit heated/personal ("take it elsewhere guys"), and there were no problems after. No-one ever took advantage of the social situation to say anything inappropriate to a superior or subordinate, or to a civilian. And I had only one CO who did not visit without calling first, so he was always called "Sir" and there was no discomfort for anyone. My house - pretty much then as now - was a gathering place for a wide range of people who often would not meet anywhere else and who always seem to enjoy their visits.

Rules are NOT bad things. I LIKE rules. They provide structure. And yes, if you were wondering, there are some who would call me a "control freak". I have no problem with that label lol.

Having Rules does not restrict you to living by them literally, but I believe in avoiding (wherever possible) breaking a rule through ignorance. That way you will usually consider the consequences of your actions.