Another lame joke from Car Talk -- an oldie but a goodie.
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him? " she asks.
"No, I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the morning, and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Don't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
The drunk replies, "Over here -- on the swing!"