I want to thank you all for the kind, gentle, wise and generous words that have been given me over the past few days. It helps. I feel wrapped in a quilt of loving words. And to those who sent me emails off-list, I tried to reply to all but if I missed you please don't feel neglected or abused. I'm just doing the best I can right now. You know, our culture gives a person a week to recover from the hardest blow that life can deal out. If you're still feeling grief after a month, well that's excessive. And God forbid you carry that grief even longer. But many of us do just that. Our grief clings to us for a long, long time and because we are expected to "get on with it" we have to suffer quietly and alone. To those who shared your griefs and losses, thank you especially. We walk together even if we don't speak of the shared weight we carry. I love you all, each and every one. And each of you I love in a special way. You have carried me in a way that lifted my soul at a very bad time. I will cherish your caring words and gestures forever.
I have been told by a relative in Texas that Mom had purchased a new headstone for Daddy's grave and had her name put on it. She arranged for her ashes to go to a friend in Albuquerque and I suppose that somehow those ashes will end up in Texas, one way or another. She didn't tell us any of this and took care of it long ago. I guess she realized even then that her daughters wouldn't be able or willing to carry out her wishes.
My little household will turn off our computers and cell phones, close the doors and put Jo to bed next Saturday and will have a service around the table that my Mom gave us. We will light a candle and eat fried peach pies and say good-bye to a woman who was dear to us but who drove us all crazy. Your caring words and support will be there with me at that time, helping me grieve and let go and know that I'm not alone. And neither are you.
Sunny