I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, carpel tunnel in both wrists, and I get bursitis in both shoulders and hips, and have had 2 fusions and 2 decompressions done on my lower spine. There's more, but I don't want to bore everyone, just want to say you have all my sympathy, and maybe a few things that hopefully you can use.
In 1999 I had some reconstructive surgery on my hand. I also had carpel tunnel in both wrists, but I did not want more surgery. My surgeon told me to take 50 mg of vitamin B6 every day. It works. Or at least helps a lot. I haven't had to return for it, and any flair ups have been mild, and in hind sight, my fault. He also gave me wrist splints, and as soon as I have any significant pain, those go on.
I protect my hands and wrists as much as possible - I type letters instead of writing, or phone ( better than never hearing from me again. I think.). I tend to use my hip or shoulder to open swing doors instead of pushing them open with my hands. Try those lever door handles that you can push up and down instead of grasping and turning.
Use a battery operated toothbrush - they have bigger handles and some are ergonomically angled. Sometimes I use ice packs (20 minutes at a time). If that doesn't help, I've also filled a deep pot with hot water and drop my hand and wrist in that. I also don't iron much any more.
The biggest thing is, don't give up anything you love to do. Even if you can only do it for 10 minutes at a time. Do the most important things early in the day.
Good luck! Sharon