Taking time to learn

Donna, my mama would be so proud of you. Polly

"Donna in Bellevue" When that comes up, I just say I'm a kept woman. Most women envy me or at

I've been reading through all the comments. I understand that the people asking me questions are probably just wanting to chat. It's not the other person who is the problem. The problem is my response. Inside, I feel like a pink and purple spotted failure. I was brought up to feel that I could never, ever do anything right. But that if I tried with all my might, worked my head and backside off, did more than anybody else and better, that I just might be able to hold my head up in public as long as nobody noticed me. So I have done that all my life. The thought of doing something just for the intrinsic value of the doing is very Buddhist and I was raised very conservative, fundamentalist Baptist. We just didn't do Zen. On top of my own inner nag, this place seems to have more than its share of judgmental people. I have a theory about why that is, but I will keep it to myself. These folks are just plain judgmental and many of them are borderline bullies. I snapped once early on in my illness. A former acquaintance seeing me for the first time in many months pointedly eyed my increased waistline and said "you don't LOOK sick." And I said "oh well, you don't LOOK stupid." Yes, childish and rude and all that. But there you go. So I'm trying to step way, way outside my type A personality and type mean upbringing and do some growing. I'll post the blog addy tomorrow. You guys can help keep me honest.

Sunny

I'm sure they are, but some questions can be taken differently by different groups - someone who doesn't work, but wishes they did isn't likely to take the question "what do you do?" particularly well and all the "how many" questions could easily be to open opportunities for bragging.

cheers Anne

I think they removed my right brain as a child. They can do that, you know. It said so on Gray's Anatomy.

Cindy

Sunny, I'm coming in kinda late on this topic,but the previous posts ring so true. I'm an "A" type also, and have always pushed myself to finish projects, clean up my sewing room and keep a pristine house while working 40-50 hours a week at a job (i'm not married). i have learned over time that if i keep up this pace, not only will i burn-out, but my family and friends will be less than enthusiastic to be around me. so....i have learned in the past 2 or 3 years, to slow down, take a breather. So what if there are dust bunnies and i cant clean everyday? so what if there are a few dishes in the sink? so what if the rude ladies at the LQS think my quilts aren't up to their "standards"? i do what i want, when i want, and in the time frame i want. Sunny, drop it all. throw the emotional garbage out. do for you. the time you spend for "you time" will reward you in the end. I'm with you!! Keep the faith. I'm soooo looking forward to sharing your personal journey! Have Fun!!!

amy in CNY