A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
------------------------------------------------ ---------------- A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan".
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
------------------------------------------------ ---------------- A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
------------------------------------------------ ----------------
A motorway walked into a pub, ordered a drink and sat down in a corner. A few minutes later a strip of tarmac walked in, and the motorway dived behind the bar and hid, shaking in fear.
The barman asked, "What's up with you?"
"Th..th.. That strip of tarmac!"
"Why is a big thing like you so afraid of that little strip? Look at you, you've got six lanes and two hard shoulders."
"Y..y..You don't know him like I do," said the motorway. "He's a a cycle path"
-------------------------------------- ------------------------ A rabbi, a priest and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says 'Is this some kind of joke ?'
You've been a wonderful audience. Thank you and goodnight.
Els.