OT: Our hardest days

Many hugs for you and DH. Please don't think that anyone here would judge you or think less of you. The two of you have worked so hard and it sounds like this wasn't an easy decision for either of you. You know in your heart you did the right thing by trying and now it's time for someone else to share the load. My heart goes out to you and DH.

Cec, we would never think less of you, knowing how hard you tried. Having walked in your shoes with a foster child that needed more care and supervision and phychological help than we could possibly give, I know how hard and gut wrenching this is. But I know for having read your posts over the months, that you are doing what your heart and head is telling you is best for all concerned including T.

{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

M-C

Hi Cec,

I would never think less of someone who tried their best under a very difficult situation. I can tell from your emails of the past few months that you are a very caring person and only want the best for all concerned. Sometimes those decisions are the hardest to make.

Hugz, Lynne

Cec,

I'm new to the group, so I haven't heard all your struggles. I just want to commend you for what you have done. Deep down, you have made a mark on T and showed him that you truly love and care for him. I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but know that my prayers are with you and your family at this time. Stay strong for him and yourself.

Many hugs,

Amanda

No judgments here, just hugs and prayers for all of you.

{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}

Take care- Carolyne > Hi All,

I don't know the history, but hugs to you.

Tanya

L> I sure dont think any less of you for giving everything you could give

Big Hugs and my prayers are going out to you Celie in this distressed time of confusion and difficulty.

OKC Dave

Check out my pix and crafts!

I know this was a hard decision for you and DH. From reading your posts, I know you guys deeply loved T. You needed to do what was best for you and T, and it sounds like you did just that. *BIG hugs*

Just to let you all know, my mother organised for T to be removed from our care yesterday. His violence had just become too much to bear. At the moment I am sporting a black eye from where he kneed me in the head on Monday night, and I have a large lump and bruise on my left forearm from where he threw a large bucket at my head the other night and I put my arm up instinctly. Luckily it only hit my arm!!

I am feeling really bad, guilt ridden, but I know this is best for everyone. I know that I can't put up with the violence, noone should have to put up with that. I feel like I can't face anyone though for fear they will ask how things are going, and judge me for giving up. There is a children's mass this coming Sunday that I would love to attend, but at the moment I just know that I will cry all the way through it. I have cried so much!!

Last night when DH and I arrived home there was a big bunch of native flowers, a card and some chocolates on our front verandah. They were from my brother and his wife, just letting us know they are thinking of us at this difficult time. It was such a lovely surprise. It really does feel like we have lost a part of ourselves, and we have to go through the grieving process. M-C, you know what we are going through, please tell me it gets better!!

Thanks again for your support and prayers everyone, they are so much appreciated.

Cec....I had to search back to find your original post and I am truly sorry that things have not worked out as you had hoped. Sadly for you all....with the best will in the world it is not always possible to resolve situations like this. Sometimes a complete break is the only suitable alternative when a child's problems have become so deep-rooted, as seems to be the case. You must not feel guilt ridden for trying to do your best for T. You were willing to give it your best shot and you should NEVER feel guilty about that. (((((HUGS)))))

Take care, Marilyn

Cec,

I recall reading through your prior posts. I give you a lot of credit for all that you have gone through (you and your family). Your a strong person. I don't judge you at all for what you did. The decision was made with your heart and it sounds like you need the best thing. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Chrissy

Sweetie, it does get better. As for when people ask, tell them the truth. You did your best, but T needed the kind and level of care that you could not provide. So you gave him up so that he would have a chance to become the man you all want him to be. I still think of Mark (my T) and pray that he is now the kind of young man God would want him to be. I know that Mark came into my life to teach me a life lesson about how hard it is to love and to let go of someone even when you know that it is the best thing to do. It wasn't easy to learn, it hurt, it hurt alot, for a long time. Perhaps Mark is what has allowed me to be here today, totally understanding the various emotions that you are feeling. I hope that you will feel my arms around you in friendship as I stroke your hair and tell you without a doubt in my heart: Cec, you did the right think. You will get through this, but it is no different than losing a loved one. You need to understand that and allow yourself to grieve. You thought your life would be one way with T and now you realize that it will have to go in a different direction. It will be OK, you will be OK. Let your family members hold you and love you. You deserve that, you did your best. You did the right thing.

(((((((((((Cec))))))))))))

Big hugs Cec. I know that this was a difficult decision for you and your DH to make. You have given T so much love and support. My prayers are with you all.

Cec, everything happens for a reason, and no one can understand another's position untill you have walked a few miles in his shoes. I'm keeping all of you in my prayers - remember when it's too hard to walk, He carries you. Keep strong.

Hugz Judy, SA

PS: have also bought the Fiskars mini shape boss, but not tried it out yet :)