OT: Personal Question

They say marriage is fifty fifty.............NOT TRUE. forget this person and never say his name again to Larry. I am an old lady now and believe me I have given 75% in this marriage and we are happy. Until I want more %. Good luck Irene

Ken is in your past, and he should stay there. Regardless of whether you think Larry is over reacting, he is your present and future. Cut him some slack now ... because there may be some event down the road where he'll need to do the same for you.

Gina in Virginia

I say leave it alone before you mess up your current relationship. He apologized that should be enough.

Celeste

I appreciate the input and I'll discuss it with my therapist on monday.

I'm happy that you sort of got things worked out with Ken but now you need to leave it alone. Larry loves you and you love him, Ken is the past and should stay there! The best way to prove to Larry that Ken isn't a threat is to leave it alone and relive some great memories with Larry instead of relive bad ones with Ken. JM2C Barb:o)

Just my 2 cents.... For me being friends with an ex... not an option. First off I have no desire to see my exs that's why there is a big "X" associated with them. I even have one that I dated for 4 years and we nearly got married. I came to my senses. Also why would I intentionally hurt my husbands feelings. He's the love of my life and I wouldn't want to hurt him ever. I feel it was good that you asked Larry, but I think he's let his feeling be known and you should respect him. Let him know that he comes first before Ken. Let Ken know that your husband comes first. That will definitely let Ken know how happy you are.

As for Larry's friendship with the gal you don't like... maybe it's time you let him know how you feel about him hanging out with an ex. If she's not an ex why is he hanging out with another woman? You are his wife and his girlfriend. I'm sure he can find a guy friend to hang out with. Or the 2 of you go together when he's seeing Annette.

My hubby has in the past tried to have a "girl" friend and I wouldn't have it. To me it's not appropriate. That's just me. Men and women just relate differently to one another. I know things work out differently for other people. This is the way I manage my life. Other people can do what they want with theirs. I don't have "boy" friends and he doesn't get "girl" friends. Now that's not to say we don't see opposite sex coworkers or "friends", but we do it together.

As I said just my 2 cents, take it for what it's worth,

Lynne

I intentionally

Men and women just relate

can do what they

Thank you guys. As my sister and once said to eachother "why is it we have to do all the wrong reasons before we do the right one."

Ken knows that I love Larry and Larry knows I love him with all my heart. Annette is Gay and has been a friend of Larry's for 35 years.

I thank you guys very much. It is an odd relationship that Larry and I have. I don't have any close girlfriends but have tons of close guy friends (I'm working on it). Larry doesn't have a lot of guy friends but a lot of gal friends. This is the second time we've had a problem like this (the first time is Annette).

Ken has been very understanding. I also told him that when we are in DC, we can't get together as it is going to add too much stress.

xoo Kate

I know you'll do the right thing for you and Larry. You've got a good head on your shoulders.

Hugs, Lynne

Thank you guys. As my sister and once said to eachother "why is it we have to do all the wrong reasons before we do the right one."

Ken knows that I love Larry and Larry knows I love him with all my heart. Annette is Gay and has been a friend of Larry's for 35 years.

I thank you guys very much. It is an odd relationship that Larry and I have. I don't have any close girlfriends but have tons of close guy friends (I'm working on it). Larry doesn't have a lot of guy friends but a lot of gal friends. This is the second time we've had a problem like this (the first time is Annette).

Ken has been very understanding. I also told him that when we are in DC, we can't get together as it is going to add too much stress.

xoo Kate

Thank you Lynne.

That's where your problem lies and Larry has clearly picked up on this and that is why he has a problem with it. BTW, it is not Ken you want to convince it is you that you want to convince. Been there, done that and own the shirt. Cherish your husband and forget about Ken.

I think this is a slipperly slope, and agree with the others who've asked "why do you want to do this"? To show him you're happy or prove to yourself you're happy? My guess is, its the latter, and I'm speaking from experience. My DH has a very good female friend (his old nurse). I have a very good male friend, a running buddy. What we do do is talk to each other about our other relationships-they strengthen what we already have.

I watched my sister reconnect with an old flame about 10 years ago. And it almost destroyed her marriage. Concentrate on what you have, or decide if what you have is making you happy (and its okay if its not). Then go from there. At the very least, ask yourself why Larry might feel so jealous of the situation. Maybe he's insecure about something in your relationship?

If there is one thing I know for certain, life is to short to not do what makes you happy. Best of luck to you in sorting it all out. Kathy

Boy did you open up a can of rotten worms..im surprised at all that Larry and you are still going on this vacation... In my 2=A2....and you asked for it.. Stop all contact now with the ex...i think that the past is long gone and should of never creeped up into this marriage now..its going to be a thorn from now on like it or not... You cant blame Larry for his feelings cause i myself would feel cheated on if my wife stayed on the internet with a ex for almost 4 hours..that would stir up all sorts of thoughts in my head and thats not good.. although you said he found you on your site it makes me wonder how he managed to find it... either way if you love your husband then respect him and dont hurt him like this....you mentioned he has a GAY friend..well that is not the same thing.. I hope you both can work things out but be prepared for this subject to pop up from time to time now that you opened the can up... GOOD LUCK

HI.

To everyone who responded, your wisdom has been taken in and has been applied. I appreciate everyone kicking me back into reality. The "can of worms" is opened and being dealt with. Our vacation was paid for prior to him contacting us and is non-refundable.

Love Kate

To Chatty Cathy,

He found me because his friend James told him where to find me.

Love Kate

CONSIDER THIS THREAD CLOSED. I'VE GOTTEN THE MESSAGE AND AM GOING TO ADJUST THIS. THANK YOU. XOXOXO

Well said Lynne. Thats what I meant with men and woman's views on "friendship" differing. No offence ment by the following, but I think the only guys you can REALLY just be friends with without any flirting going on is either gay guys or your relatives. :)

Judy, SA