Re: OT- RIP

Have to agree it is a very sad passing. I grew up with my Father singing all his songs in the car. We moved a lot (Air Force), and I have very fond memories of those trips because of Johnny Cash. Though being 71 and ailing I wasn't surprised just saddened.

What I'm surprisingly bummed about today is that John Ritter died at 54 years old. I've always enjoyed his sense of humor. Yeah Three's Company was pretty goofy, but there were other things with which I really had a good laugh. Interviews with him and his wife together were just hysterical. And I was really enjoying his new show. After trying to make it through Setember 11th without crying all day long, I'm really sad that John Ritter is dead. Sounds silly I know and I never would have thought I'd feel this way.

Lynne

It is very sad. My daughter's 8th birthday was also yesterday, on September

11th and her dog passed away yesterday afternoon. A day of sadness for us.

Amy :( AZ

You mean Jerry Lee Lewis. (Although Jerry Lewis isn't doing too well healthwise and is one of the last of his generation for famous comedians.)

Mary in OK

I'm so sorry about her (and your) loss. May she be comforted by her memories of her precious pooch and maybe by this poem:

in OK (owned by two dogs and two cats)

Oh gosh Amy, I am so sorry for your family's loss...

Amen, my heart is heavy, J C was tops on my favorite country list..... hugs Neets

God Rest both of their souls JC and JR. Heaven has gained two truly gifted and beautiful souls.

God Bless, Dorothy in NY

Thanks Dawn.

Amy AZ

I add myself to the group of ppl who are mourning John Ritter. It might sound a little shallow, but he always reminded me of my dad. He looked a little like him, his hair, his face. And who didn't watch Three's Company? That reminded me of dad too, because he was a single dad. I would sometimes see situations my dad had been on before. And on his last show he was a dad, how weird. And my dad was very funny and loved watching comedy with me. That might have been the only thing we ever agreed on. It was just silly, but there was some kind of connection.

Now talk about a connection and bad timing. And I'm not implying there is a good and a bad time to go, but sometimes dates like last week are just too much.

My dad passed away the friday before father's day 3 years ago. Our relationship had always been very close, but we argued all the time and of course, never agreed on anything. Like me being in the States away from home. He hated that. And I hated the fact that he wouldn't support my beliefs and ideas. So that friday I sent him an email where I poured my heart out and asked him to forgive me and forgave him for everything. I just wanted to start fresh, have a good relationship and be closer to him. I got really mad when I didn't hear back from him before father's day. I knew he checked his email at least 10 times a day. (He ran a computer business). So, by Sunday afternoon I had decided I was not calling him in a stupid way to "punish" him for not caring about my email. Unbeknownst to me, he was been buried that same day.

For several reasons I don't really care to discuss, I wasn't told until afterwards and that's why I wasn't there.

I wish I could take back all the things I said about him from friday til sunday. Talk about feeling stupid.

Two years later I was making plans to celebrate his b-day w/a dinner party. I woke up the day before w/a weird feeling, but I didn't pay much attention until I saw the TV. It was September 11th. I called in sick at work and stayed home. On September 12th, dad's bday, there was no dinner party.

So now you can see why it was almost like a bad prank someone was pulling on me when I got John Ritter's news. And when I heard about his little girl's b-day, I felt so sorry for her. Because I know what she is going to go thru. On B-days, father's and mother's day, etc; while the rest of the world is out there happy & celebrating, you just want to get yourself in a hole and come out once the day is over.

I know I'm doing fine now, but it's the little things like this that sometimes take you right back to where you started. Makes you wonder if you'll ever get over it. Then you realize there is no getting over it. There is just you and the way you decide to deal with "it". The good news is that you get out of that hole. And for your own sake, put the pain aside and move on. Because like my dad used to say "It's not a good thing to dwell in the past".

Angie

I'm so sorry about that. I hope you and your daughter are feeling better now.

Angie

Oh Angie. I'm so sorry that this brought it all back to you. I truly commend you for your efforts made in reconciling with your dad and am so sad that you didn;t know until it was too late that he was gone. I'm sure you've been told before, but I'm sure that he knows what you were trying to do. :)

Thanks Dawn. I like to think that he does know about the letter and everything else. It's childish but it helps on making me feel better =) Nowadays I tell everyone everything I feel or think about them right there on the spot with the exception of my in-laws. With them, I take a 10-min time out and come back and try again. They are a little pushy to say the least ;) But overall I don't save anything for later. I figured it can't hurt to tell someone you loved them one time too many =)

Angie

Thanks =) I do remember the happy times and I will try to make them into pages one day. Thanks again Angie

"> grateful. I'll hug my dog and say, "Happiness is a warm puppy." A Charles

This is the cutest thing I've read all week. I'm going to start quoting that =) I always loved Peanuts.

Or when I'm really feeling bad

My mom says that too ;)

Angie

I think I'm fortunate that I don't really have much to argue about with my Dad or my Mom. Believe me, I went through my stages but that was years ago and now I only get involved as much I need to. I always tell my dad, mom, and Grandma that I love them when I see them or talk to them. I still call my dad "Daddy" - and always will. He 'raised' me and so did my Grandma.

I have only had a bad falling out with my Dad when I was 21. I lived in a house with my stepsister and my dad, stepmom, and stepsister owned it. SS and I had an argument one night and she changed the locks on me and left for the night. I called the cops because I lived there too. They called my dad and told him if he didn't come unlock the door then I could use whatever means necessary to get into the house. My SM was really peed off and she called me names and told me to get all my f***ing stuff that night because I wasn't coming back. My dad sat there and let her talk about me and cuss me up and down. I didn't talk to them for several months.

I moved in with my best friend and stayed with her and her husband until I went to Sweden to stay with my mom. Sold everything I owned except for my car because I thought I was going to stay forever! My BF invited my dad and SM to my going-away party and they came. I was cordial to them and I told my dad that I loved him but I was still hurt. Took me a long time to get over it but now that I'm nearly 10 years older, I don't worry about stupid stuff like that. I just keep my distance from certain parts of everyone's lives and my motto is to get along - we're only here for a short time. And if you can't get along, stay away from each other and keep your mouth shut!

It seems to work for me. I listened to Dr Laura on the radio for about a year and after hearing all the advice she gave, it made a lot of sense to not get involved in matters that are truly not that important (like if your great aunt said she would leave you her jewelry and then changes her will so your sister gets it) or none of your business (like if your brother's new girlfriend has been known to cheat on her boyfriends) or (a friend's husband cheats on her and tells your husband who tells you and then she asks you if you know about it).

I place importance on my husband and children's happiness because I have my duty to them first and foremost. I have learned the hard way but I can say my life is not too complicated since I don't have a lot of poor family dynamics to deal with.

SORRY SO LONG!!!

--

**Patty H in Florida**

snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com Pages done in 2003: 31

I am so sorry this brought you so much grief! Its hard sometimes, even the smallest things can remind us of those we love.

The other day I was turning down the road we live on and caught sight of a yellow truck in my MIL's drive. My heart leapt into my throat and I said a quick prayer that all that with my FIL had been a bad dream somehow. When I drove by, it was just the roofer's truck and of course, my FIL wasn't there. I haven't told anybody that cause I didn't want to upset anyone else, but it jsut crushed me. Amazing such a smart woman could or would think that. But then - I was thinking with my emotions too. ;-)

I know its tough. There are so many things you tried to say. You have to have faith he knew it. In his heart of hearts - he knew it already. And especially once he departed and was watching over you as you heard the news and suffered the pains not only of his death, but of the incosideration of others as well (I know more about that than I care to discuss either). He knew your heart and ached for you as much as you for him.

Its difficult sometimes because we tend to put those who've passed on a shelf and leave them there. It took me a long time to learn this, but my life is much happier if I carry those people around with me and even celbrate them as if they were still here.

I hope the next few days will get easier for you and that each time you think of your father, you can smile and not continue to say, "What if..." or "If only I'd done it sooner..." As my grandmother used to tell me, "Would've, could've and should've are on a boat that has already sailed. Catch the next one and do better."

Renee in NA

What a tough time Patty -0--- though sem syou have grown from the experience -- thanks for the advice too Shaz

THANK YOU RENEE!!! That was beautiful. =) It was so sweet it even made me cry.

I told myself that once he was gone, he would know about everything I was thinking and feeling about him. This brought me a lot of peace and helped me keep my sanity. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

What I had never thought was that he was there feeling my pain when I was at my worst. Poor dad, he was probably pulling his hair unable to do a thing to help me. He was always so protective of me. That is why I truly believe that Daniel, my husband, is literally "heave-sent". Special delivery from my dad. =)

It had been just weeks since everything happened and I had decided "to take a year off relationships". (It sounds silly now, but I was very confused at the time and it made sense back then.) Then I meet this guy who just seemed to be just "too perfect". Too nice, too sensitive, too funny, just too much. =) He was also the kind of guy my dad would have approved of. As much as I tried to push him away, I kept feeling like I should keep him around. It felt like he was an old friend I was meeting for the second time.

I didn't tell him about my dad until after 3 months later. I wanted to make sure that if he stayed around was for the right reasons. He gave me so much love, I couldn't help but loving him back. He was a great support without even knowing it.

Now that years have passed, I look back at that meeting & I know it was my dad *once again* taking care of me by sending me an angel.

The funny thing is that Dan calls *me* his angel. ;) I always tell him "Honey, you have it all wrong."

Again Renee, thanks a lot for the kind words. You made my day = )

Angie

Hi Lynne!

You are a very sweet woman. I would hug your friend all the time anyway, even if she thinks it's weird. =)

Angie (who sends TONS of XOXOXOXO to everyone)