Dan:
I think a bazillion of us here use the Woodcraft slow speed grinder with the 60g wheel on the left, and the 120g wheel on the right. It is a cheap, reliable grinder that comes with wheels that are probably worth more than the grinder.
I used to think this was the only way to go. Slow speed grinder, friable (white, pink, blue or green) wheels.
However, we have had some notable turners come to our little club, and they can ably sharpen on anything that will turn a grinding wheel. A collective gasp came up from our group when one of them showed up with his own grinder, and it was a CHEAP 6" ($39 from Harbor Freight!) and he has absolutely no problems with his sharpening. It had one grey wheel, and one white wheel as he was too cheap to put on a new white wheel until the old grey one was so small he was hollow grinding everything he sharpened.
I swear, you could almost hear the sobs of the group as they thought of how much they had spent on their sharpening setups.
I have a 36 grit pink wheel I got at WC that I use to reshape my grinds. I burned my HSS tools with the 60g that was on it. Too fine a wheel will burn your tools as it takes to long to remove the material. I have different wheels from different sources, and I tend to use what is on the grinder. However, the reason I think most use the WoodCraft grinder is that they regularly have them on sale, and they area about the price of two good wheels or one really great one, so if you get the grinder in the deal (last sale they were something like $79) why not?
Until you get your sharpening technique perfected, don't hesitate to build yourself a good stand and jig for your grinder. Different jigs make different grinds, but a jig will help you with your repeatability until you get the hang of things. Check these out:
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And don't miss this one for one of the most comprehensive discussions on sharpening from a real expert:
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Good luck!
Robert