Matthew had a lot of fun with Candace and her friends yesterday. They decided not to go out afterall, but instead had a pizza delivered and just had fun all getting to know each other. Matthew said "It feels so good to be accepted and liked for myself, instead of someone wanting me to change so many things about myself. I feel good about myself again, like I am a good and likeable person exactly the way I really am."
I just smiled at him and said "I've been telling you that all along, sweetie!" He said "Yeah, I know, but you're my Mom and you are supposed to feel that way and say those things. When the woman you're in love with is trying to get you to change things about yourself, including the way you think and feel about things, it tends to make you feel like the real you isn't good enough and that you need to improve yourself before you are acceptable to other people. I know better now though, and I like myself again!" That was very good to hear him say! :o)
Oh also... Matthew and his best friend have never really felt the need to get their driver's licenses (my three nephews and myself never bothered getting ours until we were almost 30) and it wasn't too big of a problem at all until he started dating his ex-girlfriend. She and her parents kept harping on him about how REAL men, MATURE men, have their driver's licenses.... blah, blah, blah. I have told him before that when he was ready (and we have extra money to be able to afford to do it, as it is SO expensive) he can do it, but there is no rush for it. He does know how to drive... I taught him on back roads when he was in his teens just in case of an emergency and he needed to be able to take over the driving. I have also told him that I know a number of older men who have NEVER had their driver's licenses, and it didn't matter and didn't make them any less of being REAL or MATURE men. But of course, I'm Mom and am supposed to make her son feel better about himself... not at all what I was trying to do, just pointing out the facts and letting him know that what Christina and her parents were saying wasn't how everyone felt.
However, this girl Candace and her friends that he hung out with yesterday have no problem whatsoever with someone not having a driver's license. As they told Matthew "Having a license or not doesn't make the person you are... it's who you are inside, not what you have or don't have that makes you likeable or not." When he told me that, I said "What have I been telling you?" Matthew said "Yeah, I know... but to hear Christina who is from my generation, and her parents who are from your generation go on and on about it all the time, it really made me feel that I was worthless and would never amount to anything unless I got my license. Man they really did a number on his self-esteem, pride, confidence, etc. *shakes head*
Gemini