To those of you who have listened to me over the past 2 years regarding my struggles with Ann, my 17 year old, I wanted to give an update. I think it's good to share the good too !
Brief history: Ann started carrying on a toxic friendship. She was lying, using drugs and became someone we didn't know. When we finally forbade her friendship, she isolated herself, became anorexic and lost 30 pounds in 3 months. She had to be hospitalized. Sounds awful and it was, but she finally receached a point where she needed to accept help. She continutes to see a counselor and dietian and is on a mild antidepressant. She has learned to talk about her feelings. She is now a joy to live with again, after a couple of very rough months of establishing a new relationship with me. I learned a lot too and am trying to stay out of her personal decisions. I had been way too controlling and protective in the past. Her recovery had to be her recoevery. I couldn't make it happen. In fact, that would have done more harm than good. In a way, that extreme closeness between us was part of why she needed to take such drastic action to seperate and become more adult and independent. Ann now weighs a normal weight. She has a job at a deli, that she loves, is taking yoga and she has a new friend who is a really nice kid.
Thanks to all of you who over the years have listened to me patiently over all of this. It meant a lot to me.
Kathy H