Nobody is arguing Noreen, a debate is all it is, agreed then, it still comes from one pot...regardless of who the pay check is made out to....and regardless of what you or others give Nora I still think if you or Nora in this case, is taking on this charity comfortghans as well as tons of other stuff, then there has to be a budget for it. Same as if I do a charity run, I get sponsors to pay for the hire of a hall and printing etc, so when you gave postage or whatever that was the same as a sponsor, but if the sponsor stops, then the main money has to be looked at to work out if it is a viable thing to do, or if there is a way around it all.......luckily for Nora, there was a way around it....so much per week or month is allowed for...and when Nora said that Tom gives her an allowance she meant that it comes out of his share of the spending money....not hers....Tom allowed for this above anything he may wish to buy for himself. Doesn't mean he would have to ask Nora for more if he ran out, or visa versa. They both of them leave enough in the main pot to cover the extra expenses of her charity runs.. Still regardless of who earns what. Your retort to Nora's first message was that you couldn't understand why she had to ''ask'' for money.....she doesn't! They do things together, including working out the bills, and now her extra yarn/postage etc she needs for continuing to do this .. is allowed for.....like any bill would be, and they never break into the bills....When she said Tom gave her an allowance, what she meant was he suggested it...What you personally gave her is immaterial now, if you were still continuing to do it, maybe her DH wouldn't have suggested they make an allowance for it. Although everything has got dearer and dearer as time has gone on, so maybe he still would have. I still think it was good of him to become involved in what she does and to give the go ahead for so much of their money to be used on these charities. At least she isn't just taking it out, spending it on others all the time, and not thinking about what is left. This is being done together..by the pair of them as a couple. So no way is this a case of what is mine is mine and I take what I want...the money belongs to both of them, so they are both involved in how it is spent.
cheers..Cher