What all do you do craftwise?

Hi Carol

I don't mind tattoos (DH has one and I've designed another for him, but not yet put it to paper, or on him yet), but I'd rather they wait until they're adults! Hair's nothing.

Thanks re: dresses. I hope they will be: I have big hopes!

Michelle

I'm of the view that if you go against silly/nonpermanent stuff with older kids/teenagers, it will probably escalate to something more serious/permanent. Hair is basically silly stuff, though it may be very unpleasant to look at for a while :)

Michelle

I overheard a conversation once between DD1 and DS (about 2 1/4 years age difference) She was about 19, and he was complaining about something or other we (his parents) had done. He reply make me chuckle (very quietly!) "You know, since I was 16 they (that's us, their parents) have learnt so much. They're much easier to live with now." And while we had learnt a fair bit, I think that says so much about her increasing maturity, and understanding. Mind you as an elder daughter myself, I do think that the first child has the hardest time while Mum & Dad learn how to be parents!! Love & higs Christine

True, for the most part. However, my Mom and I had a talk years later after I had matured and become a mother myself... that she (mostly my Mom) and my Dad held onto mistakes that my older siblings had made and leaned harder on me (being the youngest) for them.

For instance, both my older sisters were only 17 when they got married and pregnant (not necessarily in that order... but I won't say which one did which, even though no one on here knows them)... and when I was about 15 and started showing a strong interest in boys *as* boys (yes, I was late... I was busy having fun being friends with boys before then), I got the brunt of my older sisters' mistakes with my Mom assuming that I was up to something that I definitely wasn't even thinking about at that point. When we had our talk, my Mom openly admitted that yes, she did lean harder on me because of my older sisters, because she didn't want me to make the same mistakes.... and I didn't!

In fact I didn't even want kids in my teens, I had absolutely no intentions at all of *ever* having kids... I had to deal with my second sister's kids hanging all over me and bugging me when they would visit... turned me right off of ever wanting kids. ROTFL My maternal instincts kicked in after my teens were over and I was mature enough to be ready to settle down. By that point my second sister and her family had moved to British Columbia and I didn't have them hanging all over me and bugging me for a while... so I got over my feelings of never wanting kids then. LOL

Gemini

And I had the opposite problem. I was allowed to do very little, and my mother based it all on the age SHE was allowed to do things... nevermind the fact that she was ten years older than all my friends parents! Then, because I WAS 'good' my sister was allowed to do all sorts of things YEARS earlier than I was. Still ticks me off to this day. JM2C Noreen bowing back out... busy yet...

Eggzackerly!

Higs, Katherine (Who couldn't find the hair dye. Maybe I'll get some in Halifax or St. John's this summer.)

Similar situation, similar feelings at the time, but I can see why now: so "c'est la vie!" Love & higs Christine

Thank you for your kind words, Gemini. I think I decided to change my attitude on life when my x left found recreational drugs and married a woman who shared his activities, but that's another story.

Up until then I had let him make all the decisions about everything. We bought an old farm house when we married and spent every cent and minute remodeling it. He did all the wiring, woodwork, etc. and I sewed, knitted, cooked, etc around the mess. I really didn't contribute much to the remodel work. Years later he admitted he hated the remodel and would rather have done the cooking, etc. that I did. I discovered I would have loved doing the things he did. We were stuck in the traditional role models and couldn't/didn't know how to find our real interests.

After the divorce, I looked around and decided that everything in my life was someone elses, even my thoughts and feelings. I realized that only I could change me and started on a mission to find out what I really wanted to do and to go after it. I really believe that there isn't anything I can't do if I really want to do it. Some things are not worth the time or energy, like running a marathon, but I believe I could do it if I wanted to.

That's why I enjoy reading this group. I enjoy reading how others have solved difficulties in working with yarn and have gotten many inspirations here.

Sorry to go on so long,

Jane

Thank you all of you for sharing all this stories, I am facinated By all of you. I grew up so differently that your stories warm my heart thank you . mirjam

Hi Christine:

Thanks for the response. I find my kids are human most days but go off on these tangents, especially my daughter. I think my son will be staying very local for university as he has realised he cannot live without mommy or daddy. My daughter is hoping to go away for university where I"m sure she'll fit in very well as she is extremely independant. At the moment they are both in their pleasant modes. I spend this time wondering what they "want" .

Donna from near Niagara Falls Canada where sunshine and not too bad temps are upon us again today!

Oh, I remember those days!

Higs, Katherine (who is really, really glad that they are over!)

Well, good for you, Jane! That is a very healthy attitude to have after divorce! So many people just seem to withdraw inside themselves and make themselves feel worse by doing that. My ex tried to be controlling toward me, but I was way too stubborn and opinionated to allow him to control me... apparently that wasn't what he wanted in a wife, so he left... and I am much happier for it. In fact, I actually went out and had fun with some friends the night I was granted a divorce... it was like a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders.

In fact, I actually went out and had fun with some friends

I understand that feeling! What a poor judge of character I was.

BTW, 4 years ago I married a guy I had dated for 16 years. We both had kids to raise and weren't optimistic about a blended family so we waited until the 4 of them were on their own. Living with another adult on an equal basis after all those years is one of the most difficult things we have ever had to do.

Jane

Oh how I recognise that feeling. I had a text the other night from the youngest (almost 21) saying "I love you both and miss you a bit! & she was most indignant when I asked how drunk she'd been when she sent it. Apparently she wasn't: boy did I feel guilty for even thinking it!! Love, higs and sympathy Christine

When I married Keith, we both had 2 children, ranging in age from 10 to 14. It was difficult, and even though the kids are now grown and gone, there are still issues. However, we decided that we wanted to be together and went ahead and did it. Selfish? Probably, but if we hadn't done it then, we never would have. I totally understand about the adjustment!

Higs, Katherine

Wow, after living without a partner for all these years while raising Matthew, I can't even imagine being able to adjust to having to share a living space with someone else now. I still have feelings for a man I was very much in love with before I met and married Matthew's father, but I wish him nothing but love and happiness (with whomever he is with now), and I doubt that I could even adjust for his sake if given the opportunity now. Once in a while I allow myself to wonder what it *could* have been like, but I am settled and used to be alone, without a partner.

Gemini