TIDBITS 02/15/09

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Here's the thing of it. You're living in ancient times. You're walking along the street. You hear a child screaming bloody murder. Nobody is paying attention. The child is being walled up alive inside of a new house under construction. Conversations go on in the street as if nothing is happening. You stop at the local produce market to buy some staples. The sounds slowly dim as the walls go up and there is no longer any room for noise to escape. You go home to feed the family. Tomorrow is another day.

A life is sacrificed ... a life is saved ... for it is said that anyone crossing the threshold of a new home will die. The system now in place prevented such a catastrophic event. Wall up a child in a house under construction ... and one can now enter freely without fear of death. Man's logic knows no bounds.

Modernization eventually ended this level of barbarism when it was discovered that the blood of a male goat or a rooster sprinkled liberally about the newly built premises served just as well in preventing death to newcomers. I heard matzoh balls would also do the trick ... but only when sprinkled by a bald, seven foot tall, circumcised eunuch. Clearly ... for these things to work one must always pay close attention to even the most trivial details.

But once again ... modernization reared her pretty curls ... and it was decided that a little food buried in a corner of the house as it was being built would also do the trick. Out went the walled up child. Out went the goat's blood. Out went the matzoh balls. Food in a corner was in.

Then came the cornerstone. Man had progressed ... as he is wont to do. After a cornerstone was laid ... the eldest daughter--hopefully comely--would tap the stone three times and then kiss all the workers and the house would then be "safe". I imagine this last ritual heralded bigger and better things for future generations. Damn the matzoh balls and full speed ahead, I always say.

There are/were many other rituals created to save potential visitors from death and calamity. Bury a pitcher containing a virgin girl's blouse ... and your house will not catch fire. This was good to know during a period when the science of fire retardants was still in its infancy.

There's more. Yes there is. Much much more. But I will spare you the burden of having to read about man and the machinations he went through in the interests of safety. Let us celebrate the fact that we live in an age of enlightenment ... where we no longer wear amulets for protection against life's dangers...do we? And now mes amis ... do I have a house for you.

Raymond C. Yard was the jewelry salesman for John D. Rockefeller at Marcus in the early years of the 20th century. So impressed was John D. with Yard's knowledge and integrity that he told Yard that if he opened his own business he (John D.) would buy all his jewelry from him. I've written about Yard before as his work related to his Bunnies. But today's topic is house ... and Yard built a house to beat the band.

It is a house made of diamonds with a gold roof and a ruby chimney. It has a green enamel lawn and carved emerald shrubs. There's a gold picket fence. The tree is of diamonds and emeralds and sapphires and rubies. It's a brooch to be seen. And the best part ... no children walled up in it's golden structure. You wanna see?

For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits...may I direct you to my home page at

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where you will scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says Current Tidbits ... and you will get to view a house and a half created by a man called Yard.

And there ya have it. That's it for this week folks. Catch you all next week. Benjamin Mark

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