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OT: flight problems again!

OK, last time the in-laws tried to visit us their flight was canceled due to the volcano. They've r-booked and are meant to be here tomorrow. Fine so far, no volcano probs, but French Air Traffic Control are having wild cat (?) strikes, so at the moment their flight tomorrow is still happening, but it may be canceled last minute. They've already left for the airport as they are staying at an hotel the night before, so could already be a wasted journey. If it is canceled, I dread to think of how their mood will be.

As it is we haven't seen them for nearly 3 yrs, so the kids aren't that fussed if they come or not, they really don't have a close relationship. They try to buy affection and my kids just don't accept that!

What can I say, there is almost a sense of relief coming over us, that they may not be here; but at the same time that makes me feel so guilty; but I shouldn't as they have not always be nice to us, let alone civil, but that is a long story which I feel that I have dealt with a long time ago.

DH isn't bothered whether they come or not, just the phone call after, if they don't make it!!! Take cover!! Like we can influence the French when they are on strike....... From the phone call we received yesterday, I think that they think that we can just call up and make an agreement with the strikers to let just their plane through, hey, no problem!!!

I must admit that I was going to tidy through today, before inspection tomorrow, but I just can't be bothered now - think I'll quilt instead....

Janner France

Reply to
Janner
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Sometimes this is true, and sometimes...

[envisioning here] If I were a grandparent and loved my grandchildren, but circumstances prevented me from seeing/doing for them as much as I'd like to, I might try to make up for that in the only way I knew or could think of.

Anyone here spoil their grandchildren - even occasionally?

I can envision situations where there might be a pretty fine and blurry line between buying affection and spoiling grandchildren. I'm not saying that's the case here - how could I know? I do know that I was a grandchild in that kind of situation. My mother saw my grandparents as trying to buy affection; their side of the story was quite different. We grandchildren were caught in the middle. Whatever the situation here, please don't do that.

Then why bring it up? Either it was dealt with a long time ago and it is over and done with, or it is still seething under the surface. I suspect the latter, or it wouldn't have come up again.

Best wishes,

Doc

Reply to
Dr. Zachary Smith

Oh, I wish that they would spoil them, the other grand-parents do. I don't mean with monetary things, but congratulations where due and just forget the criticisms and comparing and saying that "you won't amount to much, but never mind you can't help that." and thinking that that is funny.

I suppose I see it as buying their affection because they tell them how much that they have spent on them - which is never equal. The eldest would receive a gift and the youngest would be ignored, although that changed when she reached 6 yrs old and asked why she didn't get anything! They say that they feel like that they are being bought, especially as they always leave the prices on everything that they are given! They are 15 & 11, so know there own minds!! and speak out them as well....

OK, you're right, it is still there, it doesn't hurt anymore, but I could never trust them totally. I look at them and wonder why were they so hurtful and what did I do wrong (I know what some of it is, I was never good enough, wrong social class, wrong education, too outspoken etc).

We talk on the phone and are civil, but trust has to be earned and I don't know if I can or even want to trust them.

I just know if they do get here, it will be 2 weeks of trying to pick fault in our new lives here. I should be feeling stronger now and I suspect that they are probably more nervous of us. We've never stood in the way of them seeing the children, and under protest made DDs speak to them regularly on the phone! Photos and videos are sent regularly, and we keep the channels open.

Of course DH is at work whilst they are here and DDs are at school, so lucky me, I'm left with them!!!

I am feeling better for my bit of a rant, I just wish that I could make it a pleasure to have them here, rather than feel that our lives are going to be put under the microscope - haven't had that feeling for so long, and I don't miss that.

Here's to an uneventful couple of weeks.

Janner France

Reply to
Janner

I read your rant, Janner, and smiled and nodded all the way through. I have BTDT except, of course, I was never expected to call strikers and persuade them to let a plane through. Good for you! for managing to have your sense of humor considering the trials you are about to face. Two weeks is a mighty long time for a hostile visit. Have you considered committing a minor crime that would get you 14 days in jail? Polly

Reply to
Polly Esther

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