Thank you. FYI Sartor Resartus means 'the tailor re-patched'. I used to do a lot of dressmaking, now I quilt. It seemed appropriate at the time, and it has kinda stuck. It seems it is also a remarkably tedious book by Thomas Carlysle, but I didn't know that till afterwards. I got to it whilst listening to a radio programme about Coco Chanel, who's nickname it apparently was, how preposterously pseud is that?!
Absolutely. The shock factor is what makes it work. Most of us, most of the time, are very strong-willed, strong-minded people. We wouldn't cry if it were the last thing on God's earth. But sometimes, in some situations, weakness is strength. I didn't say bawl, or wail, or sniff. Winning an Oscar on these occasions is as much a matter of timing as intensity. A bowed head and hunched shoulders might be all that is necessary. The wet-stuff is optional. I am talking body language as much as anything. Yes, it is manipulation, of course it is. It is escalating a remark into a confrontation. However, it is doing it by turning the tables on the bully, so that they are now 'shown up' rather than the victim.
None of us are a victim without our complicity. (Does anyone know the origin of that aphorism, please?) But wriggling out of that, especially with problems with Anxiety, can be very difficult. As others have said, it is probable that nothing can be done in fact, but we can change our POV. Tears are always the last resort, because once used they become ineffective, ever again. There is no going back. But once in a while, they are the silver bullet in a situation.
If I have learned anything over the last three years it is that there is no kudos in always being the strong, unbowed one. There is also strength in saying, 'No, that makes me feel bad. I don't like it when people are mean to me. I don't deserve it.' What you do then is your own choice. The important thing is to make the choice, and move on. If that is do, then do, if not-do then that is OK, too. How much nicer it would have been if a-n-other had piped up and said, 'You know, if that had been on the class directions, I wouldn't have signed up! This is a class for all skill-levels. Remind me to check out the small print next time.'
But nobody can pull back time for another crack at a situation. What damage is done. If I felt strongly enough about it, I would certainly tackle the LQS, but, as sure as eggs is eggs, without witnesses, the Manager would probably say something like, "I'm sure you misheard. Mrs Sockinmouth would never have said that. She is one of my best teachers. Perhaps if I call her across you can put it to her yourself?" >>Shudder