Well...my love story of 4.5 years came to a screeching halt on Thursday.
My SO who now lives in Indiana because of his school commitment was caught in the act...In SEATTLE, his old home town.
The short version....said he was going to a conference (he's an officer in one of his school's organization). Dates don't ring true...not lots of conferences end on sunday, 'cause students have to be back at summer session on monday.
Check the website for his conference site, 'cause he didn't leave me a contact number. Hmmm, no conference. Called his mom for the number and it's not in Minneapolis, it's in Seattle.
Call the number, female on answering machine, leave a message asking Matt to call me.
Calls me the next day, after telling her that "i'm just a friend". SHE and I talk, he's history for both of us...damn, I didn't get to him before the sex. The real audacity is that we have a wedding planned for August, he denied it to her, I sent her an email that he had sent confirming, and yet he still denied it. Pathological, isn't it? Okay, the real, real, audacity is that he had unprotected sex with her and brought a test result to prove he was HIV AIDS free. no, no. the real audacity is that when I asked him when he had been planning to tell me about it, his answer was I don't know.
He has agreed, though, to both of us, that he needs to spend time alone and enter some type of therapy.
I feel bad for him...he destroyed any possibility of friendship from either of us, but I feel good that maybe this will convince him that he needs counseling. I had always suggested it for other things (been in therapy for
30 years myself) and now, I think he sees that his behaviour is not just self-destructive (cause he certainly can't live a happy life like that), and he's never been alone.It;ll be good for him, I feel like shit, but I will survive.
Thanks for listening. Lisa