OT Pagan Spam Ritual

Ritual for the Great God Spammenot and the Goddess

> Delete* > *pronounced 'Del - ee - tay > > Altar Setup -- Computer, keyboard, and mouse in > center > of altar, if you wish to put out candles and incense > that is well and good, but it is probably better to > forgo the salt and water for reasons that SHOULD be > obvious. Connect to your ISP and open your mailbox. > > The Ritual > > I. Cast your circle. > > If you have a cordless mouse you may use this to > cast, > otherwise you are better off using your usual tools. > > II. Invocations of the elements > > East -- O creatures of Air, you who bring "me too" > posts, thoughts and ideas of the world into my > inbox, > be with me this night as I honor the Divine Couple > Spammenot & Delete. > > South -- O creatures of Fire, you who bring the love > letters, promises of organ enlargement, and flames > of > the e-list to my inbox, be with me this night as I > honor the Divine Couple Spammenot & Delete. > > West -- O creatures of Water, you who bring > guilt-trips, > chain letters, and outpourings of joy to my inbox, > be > with me this night as I honor the Divine Couple > Spammenot & Delete. > > North -- O creatures of Earth, you who bring > technical > support posts, product updates, and the minions of > spam > to my inbox, be with me tonight as I honor the > Divine > Couple Spammenot & Delete. > > III. Invoking the God and Goddess. > > Great God Spammenot > > Protector of the inbox > > Filterer of pyramid schemes and sex sites > > Guardian against pharmaceutical companies > > Soldier against the forces of bulk email marketing > > Be with me this night as I read my mail > > Let not the evil forces of greed and corruption make > it > past your filters > > I invoke your name > > Spammenot, Spammenot, Spammenot (hit the report > spam > key repeatedly) > > Great Goddess Delete > The last barrier between unwanted mail and me > Render of me too posts > Shredder of the dreaded chain email letters > Destroyer of all I do not wish to bring into my life > Be with me this night as I read my mail > Take ye all of the posts which have escaped your > consort's power > I invoke your name > Delete, Delete, Delete (continue hitting delete > button > until you feel the goddess' power. > > IV -- Cakes and Mail > > Read your email in peace and joy. And delete the > cookies > in your temporary files for good measure. > > V -- Thank the God and Goddess > > Great Goddess Delete > I thank you for your awesome power > Gone are the days when I waded endlessly through > emails. > Praised be your name. Go now in peace until I read > again. Hail and Farewell. > > > Great God Spammenot > > You grow in power daily > > Deliver me always from the dark forces of Spam > > I give you honor and reverence. Stay with me always > until I read again. I bid thee thanks. > > VI: Dismissal of the Quarters > > North -- O creatures of the Earth, I thank you for > your presence this night. Go if you must, stay if > you > will, but leave with me the information from > technical > support. I bid you Hail and Farewell. > > West -- O creatures of Water, I thank you for your > presence this night. > Go if you must, stay if you will, but leave with me > the > joyful news I have received. I bid you Hail and > Farewell. > > South -- O creatures of Fire, I thank you for your > presence this night. > Go if you must, stay if you will, but leave with me > the > love letters. I bid you Hail and farewell. > > East -- O creatures of Air, I thank you for your > presence this night. > Go if you must, stay if you will, but leave with me > the > information and ideas of others. I bid you Hail and > Farewell. > > VII Open the Circle > > The circle is opened and never broken. So mote it > be! >
Reply to
Christina Peterson
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I love it. These are the times where I wish I had some pagan friends.

Reply to
Debbie B

I think I just peed myself. Thank you so much Tina. I shall repay you for that one!!!!!

~Candace~ your local hemp goddess :)

Reply to
Candace

Oh Tina ROFL!!!!!!!

KarenK (off for some towels to clean my keyboard)

Reply to
Karen_AZ

I have a pagan friend and I did send it to her. :-)

Reply to
JL Paules

You are so lucky. People around me don't like me talking about anything to do with Wicca. I went to the flea market with my family (parents & sisters) found a fantastic golden bowl. When I mentioned it would be perfect for my altar, my family was horrified. LOL

Reply to
Debbie B

Snip

This is wonderful Tina! Love it!

susan in canada

Reply to
Susan B.

I've learned that being Wiccan is not the same thing as being a Pagan. Wiccan is a relatively new religion whereas Paganism has been around since rocks were invented. (Sarah corrected me when I called her a Wiccan.) I find it fascinating so you may talk to me about it any time you'd like. :-)

Reply to
JL Paules

I've not heard that. Although I was told that Wicca is a Pagan belief. (not sure if belief is the right word)

I did a lot of research into it cause I have some "different" talents. My ex fiance's mother was into some alternative beliefs and brought me into it a little bit. It was just enough to get me interested in it. So I've kind of combined my beliefs into something that is comfortable for me. And it's worked.

Reply to
Debbie B

You sound like me - we have to be true to whatever we believe. It may not fit into the template of one religion or another but it DOES fit in our heart. And that's what counts the most.

Peace!

Reply to
JL Paules

Man..I couldn't imagine my family having that reaction! Most likely..my father, or brothers would find the bowl first and come running to me with it! (My mother would wait for me to "find" it) Paganism, in one form or many, has always been rampant in my family....and just after the turn of the last century, my line incorporated much of the Wiccan beliefs into our own.

~Candace~ your local hemp goddess :)

Reply to
Candace

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Debbie B" :

]When I mentioned it would be perfect for my ]altar, my family was horrified. LOL

i knew i liked you!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

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----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all.

Reply to
vj

You might suggest to them this: It's just an old (gentle) religion. Substitute "Jewish" for "Pagan", and they'd be horrified with *themselves* for being bigoted! Haw! ~~ Sooz

------- "Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance ~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links

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Reply to
Dr. Sooz

What's really funny is that a relative that lived in Scotland back in the old old days had the second sight. I found that out and told my Mom so now she understands a bit more of what I'm about. That a relative in the past had it makes it okay. LOL

Reply to
Debbie B

That's similar to what I told them.

Reply to
Debbie B

That is too funny!

~Candace~ your local hemp goddess :)

Reply to
Candace

On Sun, 16 May 2004 16:48:56 -0400, Debbie B wrote (in message ):

They could have it worse - they could have me. I'm one of those people that TPTB of organized religion fears - a *thinking* Catholic woman with a sense of humor. I've read all the doctrine, and the initial Catholic Church appeals to me - not today's nearly unrecognizable version. (So much of today's church is so far removed from the original form of worship, it's amazing) I also think that God has a great sense of humor, and appreciates it when His creations laugh.

I especially love the untarnished expressions of faith done in generations long ago. Mexican retablos (painted metal expressions of thanks for a miracle - said miracle could be anything from a life saving cure to finding a lost earring) appeal to me. I say the Rosary and mean it, and am horrified when people use prayer as a weapon - a prayer that someone be harmed is offensive beyond words.

The sameness of the form of worship, the symbolicism of the incense, candles and most aspects of the Mass are comforting to me. Something that has gone essentially unchanged for millenia is amazing, all by itself. Things start to go wrong when Man, management, and money stomp their big clumsy feet into what should be a giving expression of gratitude to God and reverence for all His creations. (BTW, I use the capitalized "God" and "He" as a measure of respect. I believe that the being I call God is so far beyond feeble human understanding that gender and names are meaningless. It's my imperfect way of communicating how I feel)

I love the silly part of religion as well. I have Saint Claire statues on all the televisions (she's the patron saint of TV because she had a vision of Mass from miles away, long before anyone dreamt of television), Saint Isadore lives on the modems, and "Our Lady of Extreme Acceleration and Green Traffic Lights" is often mentioned when in a rush. I have milgros in my nicho (little metal body parts dedicated to God in exchange for healing in an altar dedicated to Our Lady of Guadalupe), and my Tantes send me souvenirs from Lourdes to "cure" me. Sure, they're plastic, but they're more expressions of love from the Tantes, and I'd think God understands the sentiment if not the plastic.

The one thing I am not is exclusive. As I've studied ancient civilizations, I have found striking similarities in the folktales in widely divergent cultures describe the creation of Earth, the "Noah and the Flood" tale, and many archetypes that some Christians think are the Biblical truth. This leads me to believe that there is some common factor behind all the stories, and I happen to call it God. When we contact beings from other planets, I would be fascinated to know if they also have variations of the same stories

-if I were a betting woman, I'd say they do.

The more I learn about science, the universe and the complexity and beauty of everything around us, the more I am reassured that there is a Higher Power far beyond anything I could comprehend. All this simply cannot be a chain of lucky coincidences - there's too much evidence to the contrary.

My arrogance does not reach the point where I say "my way to God is the only way." It cannot be. Billions of humans on this planet, and likely untold trillions on the inhabited planets in our universe, and being a Catholic is the only correct way to worship? Uh, I can't believe that for a moment. My path is only one of many, and my mission is to make the path as smooth as I can for my fellow travelers. It's that simple and that difficult.

Enjoy your golden bowl, and the peace that your altar brings. I hope that your family comes to understand that worship, like love, comes in countless forms and expressions.

Peace,

Kathy N-V

Reply to
Kathy N-V

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from Kathy N-V :

]Billions of humans on this planet, and likely untold ]trillions on the inhabited planets in our universe, and being a Catholic is ]the only correct way to worship? Uh, I can't believe that for a moment. My ]path is only one of many, and my mission is to make the path as smooth as I ]can for my fellow travelers. It's that simple and that difficult.

AMEN!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

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newest creations:
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----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all.

Reply to
vj

clumsy feet into what should be a giving expression of gratitude to God and reverence for all His creations.

I hope that your family comes to understand that worship, like love, comes in countless forms and expressions.<

I love you Kathy!!!!!!

KarenK

Reply to
Karen_AZ

Yeah, my ex hated me having anything to do with my religion out where people could see them, and made fun of me endlessly for it. I'm SO happy to be with somebody who isn't like that!

-Kalera

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Debbie B wrote:

Reply to
Kalera Stratton

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