I have not been sleeping lately and I hate being up this late again. I didn't go to sleep last night until 6 a.m. this morning.
Being an only child with siblings sucks! I can't believe we were are all raised separately as only children and we can't get along. At least not my brother and sister right now. My brother is really my sister's brother but we grew up in the same town and are very close.
As you all know my godfather passed away not too long ago. He is my brother and sister's father. Now the feud begins. (sigh)
You all know I tried desperately to find my sister and was unable to reach her at the time of my GF's death. While in Tennessee I had an email from one of her friends after Sissy asked them to find me on the web. I was only too delighted to find out she wanted to reach me since I hadn't heard from her since our mother's death last August.
Quick caveat here: I did not want to attend my godfather's funeral. I loved him but he started molesting me when I was 12 and raping me in my teens. My brother and sister have no knowledge of this and I have never told anyone except Dan. I was uncomfortable around him as an adult but my siblings never knew why.
My sister was adopted when she was 9. My godfather was never on her birth certificate and she didn't even know he was her father until I found her in
1990 and told her about him. My mom and GF told me when I was 12.Fast forward to a few days ago. My brother calls (who I have been avoiding - see paragraph above) and tells me the tale of my sister's visit to Texas while I was in Tennessee. I didn't know that she found out of his death and was able to get here.
Zonn's side of the story was that Sissy only came here to get whatever money from the estate she could. Zonn said Sissy was strung out the whole time she was in town. He said she called child protective services on him and claimed that he took all of Pop's money. Zonn said he got physical with Sissy because she wouldn't leave him alone about going to get her some drugs. He said she told him he never cared about Pop and was stealing his SS money. (I think I could honestly believe that.)
My sister was able to reach me tonight. I tried to call her when I got the email but her phone had already been disconnected. Sissy does want an inheritance. (Here is my angst. Sissy wasn't raised by my GF and she has parents. It's not my decision though.) She is disgusted with Zonn and his treatment of Amber my niece. I am right there with her on the Amber issue. It seems that Zonn didn't have custody of Amber but that my GF did. No one in the family can take Amber at this time but me and I'm not a blood relative of Zonn's. (However, Zonn said that Pop told him I might be his child.) I will still try to get to CPS and talk with them about it.
I know that my brother has his own world of truths. I have no reason to doubt my sister but my heart is torn. My sister wants me to sign documents attesting to the fact that my GF was her father for inheritance issues. My GF did want Sissy to split 10 acres with Zonn and he always kept close to me because he knew someday I would find her.
Things I know. Sissy does use pot to help with head pain. She hasn't had insurance in years and even my own pain management specialist said it might help. She probably uses it for other purposes too. I know my brother smokes pot but my sister claims he has chemicals in the kitchen to make meth. Well from what I understand most kitchens might have ingredients but I don't think everyone starts a chemical factory.
Another thing I know: Zonn is a control freak when it comes to Amber. He only lets her eat when and how much he wants her to. She cannot have snacks when she comes home from school because Zonn says she is overweight. Zonn lets her take 2 minute baths. He doesn't let her wear new clothes and would rather she never put them on. He is an awful father but much better a parent than her mother.
My sister now wants to move to Texas. I wish she would have done that years earlier. She and Rick have no money and have three children. They can stay with us for a time but money is always tight. I don't know how we would cope with seven people in the house.
I don't know why I'm telling you guys this except I'm at my wits end. I love them both and have told them I'm not taking sides. I will submit to signing documents about things I know. I will not lie for either of them. Then there is always the issue of paternity with me. I don't want anything but what if that throws a new monkey wrench in.
Eating a little and hopefully rest will come.