another update on a stitching dilemma

if anyone remembers, last fall I crocheted a baby afghan for the baby my cousin and his wife were expecting last November. It was a pattern I had never done before and thought it would be adorable for a newborn. I held off giving it as a shower gift, because the shower was a brunch to honor the mother to be. My cousin's older sister suggested that I give the afghan as a christening gift. that was my plan, until I learned that the baby was not going to be christened. I got tired of hanging on to the afghan and presented to my cousin and his wife over July 4th weekend.

It is now 4 weeks later with no thank you. I talked to my mother yesterday. She told me not to expect a thank you, because the cousin's wife won't do them. This woman refused to thank another (mutual)aunt who is livid - and rightfully so! - about not being thanked.

If only I had known the crap that this girl was going to pull, I would have sold the afghan and earned myself some money on it!

thanks for letting me vent!!!

Lisa

Reply to
lisawhite
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These are life's little lessons. Several, in this situation.

When you give, you give from the heart no matter the outcome. If you can't do that, then don't give. :-) There's no judgment in my words, just an understanding that gifts are just that: gifts. One should never expect anything in return. While you are correct that etiquette demands an acknowledgement of some sort, you can't always rely on people to have a good understanding of life's rules.

Dianne

snipped-for-privacy@> if anyone remembers, last fall I crocheted a baby afghan for the baby

Reply to
Dianne Lewandowski

Your cousin could have thanked you, as well. The gift was for the baby, right? Judy

Reply to
Judy

Reply to
Brenda Lewis

I do write thank yous, but don't expect them in return, especially if there's something going on in that person's life like a newborn or death in the family or move or illness, whatever. However, I do appreciate

*some* form of acknowledgment, even if it's not a formal card in the mail. (Obvious exception being a gift I give as thanks for something: thank you - no, thank you - no, really, thank *you* - it could get rather wild to start that circle up!).

Barbara HJ

Reply to
Barbara Hass

If it's your cousin and his wife, why is it up to "this girl" to write the thank you? Why isn't it up to your cousin to do it?

Elizabeth

Reply to
Dr. Brat

I agree. When any of DH's friends/relatives groused about not getting a thank you note for the wedding gift, I was able to smile sweetly and say "I got my thank you notes out within two weeks. You'll have to take up with your nephew why he hasn't written his half yet." If any of them sputtered "in my day...", my response was that in their day, the bride did not have a full-time job and two home businesses and therefore had far more time than I to write thank you notes to people she didn't know.

As time went on, I also put him in charge of buying and sending cards and gifts to his side of the family. I let his family know what I was doing, so the Damn Yankee wouldn't get blamed for the lack of gifts. They really hated to admit that someone raised with Proper Southern Manners was so lacking in manners as to ignore birthdays and Christmas, but the proof was right in front of them (or rather, the proof was what was NOT there) on Christmas morning. Again, I could sweetly respond that he must have known Christmas was coming, because he gave me daily reminders of what *he* wanted, take it up with him if your gift didn't arrive.

Reply to
Karen C - California

I agree -- when I give a gift, the joy of giving it is the reward. I usually don't care whether I get a thank you note. In fact, if I was present when the gift was given, and was thanked in person, I think thank-you notes are dumb...I was already thanked. The exception is when I send something in the mail...then I look for a thank-you note as confirmation that it got there.

Sue

Dianne Lewandowski wrote:

Reply to
Susan Hartman/Dirty Linen

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