HOORAY!

There's a very simple answer: because these people are my friends only as long as I am doing for them. The first time I ask them to return the favor and do something for me, they have no time. Suddenly, when they need something from me again, they will have time to call me.

Thanks to the half dozen police cars in front of my house the day this started, the neighbors (who were all out there gawking) are well aware that the house needs a thorough cleaning. NONE of them have offered any help, and NONE of them have responded to my e-mail inquiring whether they know of a good, reliable cleaning lady. They only initiate conversation with me when they want something from me. They know, vaguely, that I work from home because I'm disabled, but can never remember if I even told them what the disability was.

This is California, not a small town in England. Californians are raised on the mantra of "me first, last and foremost", and do nothing for anyone without asking "what's in it for me?"

One of the neighbors, shortly after moving in, decided to replace the fence between the properties and sent me a bill for my half, without asking whether I agreed with their decision. When I said I was disabled and could not afford to contribute, they threatened to sue for my half. This was my very first interaction with them; I wasn't even aware they'd moved in until I got the letter demanding I pay for a new fence I didn't want. So, you can't in any way blame their self-centered attitude on something I did to them first.

It took my brother over a month to wipe my hard drive and reinstall Windows and everything else that needed to be done (first the 3.5 drive went on walkabout after the reinstall, then the modem went on walkabout). He suffers from fibromyalgia. Caryn's snide remarks, whether she likes Karen C or not, are absolutely uncalled-for. She (Caryn) simply doesn't know what she's babbling about.

Can I tell you that I would seriously, seriously consider moving somewhere else? Really. Indianapolis, for example, is an up and coming city where your skills would be marketable but where the cost of living is a fraction of what it is where you live now.

Didya laugh and tell them good luck?

Elizabeth (I woulda)

And the weather makes my symptoms worse. I need warm and dry; for the six weeks that we have "winter" here, I am essentially bedridden. I cannot imagine surviving a northern winter that goes on for six months and gets even colder and snowier.

Unfortunately, since I don't drive, I need somewhere with good public transit, so a small town in the middle of the desert just isn't feasible.

I suggested they were not likely to find a judge who would order someone earning $200 a month to stop buying groceries and paying the electric bill in order to have the money to reimburse someone who had just bought a half-million-dollar house.

They made one more threat, but then apparently got confirmation from the gal next door that I really *am* disabled and haven't worked in years.

That's an ugly generalization.

It's that generalization that made me suggest to Karen that she move. I'd sure not want to stay somewhere where I felt that way about my neighbors.

Elizabeth

Unfortunately, Pat, your example and Dr Brat's good suggestion will all fall on completely deaf ears, because there are always reasons that OTHER people can manage, and poor pitiful KMC can't. I guess it's a good reminder to me that some people actually prefer to live their lives as a perpetual victim and enjoy the misery.

I would still love to hear why, however, someone who is admittedly capable of working from home and running a business *deserves* disability. Obviously, she has the attitude that she *assumes* the rest of her neighbors to have. These statements in conjunction with many of her earlier posts lead me to believe that the street that runs one way is not heading away from her, but towards her.

That's why I don't associate with a whole lot of people here; never did. If I don't spend a lot of time with them, their selfish attitude doesn't annoy me. Moreover, if I don't spend a lot of time with them, they aren't deluded into thinking that I'm a good enough friend that they can ask me for huge favors or huge loans.

And when you do have a friend who is good enough to be concerned about not being able to get in touch with you, you repay them with the ranting and raving about how wrong and out of line they were. I wouldn't want to take the chance either.

But this Karen goes both ways , if you don`t associate with people ? Why do you than complain they don`t offer you help ? they hardly know you . I live in quite a big city, there are shops and places, that notice if i am not around for a while , and than somebody calls to see if i am ok ? or just to say hallo . mirjam

I'm dong my best....several of her posts had me wanting to respond, but I held my fingers in check!

Caryn

Ah, but Sharon, if you pay attention, any time anyone speaks of any sort of reasonable suggestion, or an article is published about a new medication, there's a reason that said suggestion or medication won't work for Karen. As I said, it's just a reminder that some people enjoy their misery. And there are many many people who have the same issues she says she has, many in combination as well, who manage to lead productive lives and not turn everyone off with constant complaining.

You are a mean spirited bit of work. Has it ever occurred to you that for some people there is no handy medication that works ? I know two other people who find themselves in that position.

Instead of pick, pick, pick, why don't you just give thanks that you are not in that position?

Or go and pick on your buddy/twin Caryn, she makes enough posts talking about her health too. Now, you can killfile Karen and put yourself out of your misery or you can STFU, either one would be a good thing.

We know all that about the medication - we`re just sick of being constantly reminded of it and having the "poor me" bit dragged into every bloody conversation, and the "nobody cares" bit, too. We all have our crosses - just some of us don`t make a constant meal of them! Poor Karen is her own worst enemy, and there`s nothing much sadder than that. I think we`ve worked the "Twin/Alter ego" bit to death - I know that many of us thought that Mirjam was two people as her posts were so different in the mastery of English. Maybe she was "two people" at one time - but not lately!

Pat P

So why constantly answer the posts with sniping remarks? Killfile or ignore.

When did you acquire a halo!!! Amongst the whining there`s often something interesting to read in any case.

Pat P

I don't believe I have a halo, you know that, if only because I would hate to think I did. You know - because you are friends with Vic as well - how difficult this sort of distressed life is to live. I know what I would be like if I was so severely limited, and I acknowledge, it would NOT be pretty. I've a very good idea of what you would be like too, and that would be ugly as well lol

"Lucretia Borgia" wrote

Pat wrote >>

I certainly wouldn`t give into it any more than I think YOU would - and I can`t imagine either of us constantly bleating about it.

Pat P

Well since I have had the good fortune not to be in that situation, I can't be sure what I would be like.

I know I was unbearable after my knee and before I could drive again - and I knew that was temporary. Even though you admittedly, have problems, they don't really stop you from getting out and if you are in a bad way, John is there to assist. So really, you can't be sure what you would be like either and I know you very well now (you have to admit that) and I think you would be no better than I would. Maybe not worse, but at least as bad.