OT mixed up presents

Having enjoyed reading some of the humerous postings on this newsgroup I thought readers might enjoy this contribution, originally sent to me by a friend in Australia: A young man called Ron wanted to buy his new girlfriend a Christmas present. As they hadn't been seeing each other for very long he decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of gloves would strike the right note, not too intimate but yet thoughtful and considerate. He went with his girlfriend's sister to Harrods and bought a dainty pair of white fur-lined gloves. Whilst in the ladies clothing department the sister purchased a pair of knickers for herself at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up the two items. The sister took away the package containing the gloves and Ron got the knickers. Without checking Ron sealed the package and sent it to his new girlfriend to arrive in time for Christmas. In the card that accompanied the package he lovingly wrote the following message: Dear Pat, I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones which are easier to remove. I appreciate that these are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub her ring which helps keep it clean and shiny. In fact she hasn't needed to clean it since she began wearing them. I wish I was there to put them on for you for the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love Ron p.s. Your sister advises that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.