KATRINA QUILTS

Yes. It is important for everyone to remember to preserve the dignity of those who are forced by circumstances to accept aid. I only donate that which I would actually wear myself, if I was thinner, or fatter, or had more room in my closet!! I also try to present donations in a neat and pleasing manner.

PAT > Thank you for writing this. I get so angry when I see all the junk people

I had one of those supervisors that we all called "Ms. Clueless'. We were brainstorming in a staff meeting about what to include in case plans in order to reunite neglected (that usually means filth and crud for the uninformed) kids with their families that could help them remain in the home. Social Workers use the term "Successful Reunification". This particular supervisor rarely ever made home visits and had been "appointed" to her position by the governor (of Missouri, Leslie). She had made her first home visit all by herself the day before and was still in shock from the experience. She had drove her very luxerious BMW and had walked into this cockroach ridden home with filth and crud everywhere on her 3 inch pointy toed designer heels. She was appalled at the fact the mother was "depressed" and reported to the staff how she berated the lady about getting off the couch and getting a job to make money. Then she drummed her perfectly manicured nails on the table and said: " I mean ... really ... why wouldn't she want to buy some new furniture or something!" We all put our face in our coffee at the same instant and chocked - out loud - all at the same time. I couldn't breathe for fear I would laugh. Sorry you had the bad experience of having a similarly clueless social worker.

I too came from a family of poverty but we were blessed with parents who taught a strong work ethic, pride and a belief that education was the way out. My Daddy earned $100 month as a school bus driver. He parked the bus at our house at the end of the day because we had no car so he couldn't drive to work. The whole family worked for others in their farms to earn a little cash and we took care of our own little farm to raise some of our food needs. We relied on others to drive us to town or to the doctor. We had no electricity and our water came from a spring down the road. My mother made her own soap from lard and lye and I learned to iron with heavy irons heated on our wood cookstove. Laundry was boiled in a large cast iron pot and rubbed on a wash board (that I still have). We hung the clothes on the line and the sun dried them. The same tub that we rinsed the clean laundry in was used on Saturday night for a bathtub. My mother sewed our clothing from feedsacks and we got one pair of shoes a year from the Sears & Roebuck catalog just before school started. When the soles got holes in them they were lined with cardboard and if you out grew them Daddy cut a hole in the ends. We used an outhouse for a bathroom and the last years edition of the Sears & Roebuck Catalog was our toilet paper. So I know poverty first hand and I think it made me a better Social Worker. I knew the difference between Poverty and Neglect. Poor Ms. Clueless is married to the Chief of Police with her one son and still hasn't a clue about how the poorest in our community live and survive.

I knew

Oh, dear! That did make me giggle! But had poor Mrs Clueless never TRAINED as a social worker? Did she know nothing of the depths to which depression can lead? It's an illness. People with depression need help, sometimes to do the simplest of things (and think about it - bathing kids ain't simple!). Maybe she should start by talking to the guys who work for her husband... My Little Sis is an inspector with the Metropolitan Police over here in London. She makes graveyard jokes about her job, and what they call 'the sticky carpet brigade' - where you scrape the muck off your shoes on the way OUT! As she says, sometimes you have to make the jokes or live there yourself.

Being a member of the BTDT brigade in my own profession (I'm a dyslexic teacher of English) does give you some insight into the problems of others. It's very hard to keep a place clean in a building full of cockroaches, where the water and sewerage are sub-standard, and where one has no transport and the local shops are all charging the highest prices for soap and washing powder because they cannot compete with the out of town emporia for their own rent and business rates. It's not use saying 'get it fixed' when the washer breaks down through old age and slavery, and one hasn't the available dosh to buy new or reconditioned, or pay the guy to fix the old one. Add depression to the mix, and it's no wonder the house is a s*it heap and the kids are neglected. And folk who are brought up in those circumstances can perpetuate them simply because they know no alternative...

AKK! I need to get off this soap box and punt it into touch! Back to the sewing room for another round with the bridal hems... I feel so lucky that DH earns the bread and butter, and I can earn the occasional bit of cake! And I feel lucky that I CAN donate the unwanted stuff to others so that they can make good use of items that still have several miles in them.

Oh, and I hoovered the carpet TWICE this week - but even the Dyson won't pick up cat whiskers that have woven themselves into the pile! And does anyone have any tips for removing porridge from fur?

"But had poor Mrs Clueless never TRAINED as a social worker?"

A person can feel "sympathy" for those less fortunate, they can be trained to deal with behaviors and attitudes - but I honestly do not believe that you can "train" empathy for people in this situation.

I don't believe people can honestly understand what it is truly like, unless they have lived it themselves.

I know too many people in this area that think just giving a "hand out" or writing a check should be all it takes to help the less fortunate. It's not!

For one thing, when I was in this position, I was at times too proud and other times too ashamed to accept money from other people. I wanted to be able to do for myself and provide for my own children without accepting "charity" from others. I was more than willing to work and when I was married to the worthless, abusive alcoholic, I worked three jobs most of the time.

There is an old saying that goes something like, "give me a hand UP, not a hand OUT" - this is exactly how I felt during those times. I didn't want to be pitied. I didn't want peoples leftovers. I didn't want to be treated like I was "less than a person" just because I didn't have as nice of clothes as they did or because I sewed my kids clothes. I didn't appreciate being looked down on just because I worked three jobs and when I was at home, I sat on the floor and played with my kids instead of volunteering at church or school or making sure our home was immaculate and kept up with the Jones'es.

No, you can't "train" the understanding and the empathy that comes with not having. You can't "train" the mindset that goes along with learning to survive without. You have to live it to believe it.

Tina

I think we can all say we have met college idiots but this pathetic lady didn't have a degree. She was a political appointee. She didn't last long. She went on to ... er, bigger and better things ... if you know what I mean. LOL!! Something more appropriate for her professional wardrobe.

I was in Rural Social Work with families for over 30 years and I never got used to the "sticky floors" and I will always remember this one mother who addressed her cockroach problem by lining all her cabinets with that tacky fly paper. She was so proud when she opened her cabinets and there was gadzillions of squirming cockroaches stuck to the fly paper. I thought I would loose it for sure that time and I have a pretty strong stomach. I kept my face straight (with a lot of effort) and praised her for being creative and utilitzing available resources to deal with problems like this. I aught to write a book but no one would believe it. LOL

I think you have hit the nail on the head Ms. Tina. I have seen a few poor little rich kids have moments of epiphany ... rich kids don't often get into social work.

(x??Z?ÛÆ|¿¯?X??bN¶;J*±9É9±¬²Tåøq
,?
,¼E}ºg
êäÊÓA`°;ÓÓÓ3?\?d}µ5?~Ûú®J¦u&ì?5iñd??¹K?æ?Mµ»÷?ñÝÞEó¸´?ÁD?¶À?vfðCã?[?q0¼P?®tý@??ü2?á?~½·µ~Ø[?_?µ~8mÍ[

Drug addiction is a real problem in our rural communities and unfortunately our caseloads used to include a lot of those. Being self employed means meth labs in the shed out back for many in our community. Due to the recent growth, we are seeing less and less as we become more and more urban. In the area where I used to do most of my casework they are building a high end, 25 story Condominum - at the cost of over $100 million. You have to have a 7 figure income to be even considered for residency. All the old Warhorse Social Workers laugh up our sleeves about millionaires living in the Avoca, Prairie Creek and Eagle Point area. Rampant incest, neglect, lack of education, generational welfare and home made methamphetemine is being replaced with high end condos. Now that's progress!!

Well said, Nightmist! I spent 12 years volunteering in a non-profit's thrift store. The dirty and broken stuff people gave us was shocking. The charity has no truck, and must hire someone to pick up donations, since many people can't deliver large items. I've gone out to look at something a donor wanted us to have; declined a mattress that was torn and stained, because 'we can't sell it. Our customers won't buy torn or stained items, and we then have to pay to have it hauled away.' The donor was quite indignant, and 'well, what am I supposed to do with it?' And the clock radios that 'work, except for the alarm function.' Grrr. OTOH, that same charity has a group of elderly ladies (one over 90) who come in two mornings a week to cut rags from the unsalable clothing. They have regular customers for specialized rags. Now if I am discarding worn-out clothing I label the bag as rags and give it to them anyway. Lee