Okay, things have not gone well for me lately and last night was really bad.
There are 4 people in my little quilt group, including me. We met last night. Three of us work together, me, A, and X. Z is our other friend.
Things went really poorly last night and it is all my fault. (I know, I should not have had that G&T with David after work. And if I was going to have G&T with David, I should not have had the wine A served. But A had had a day, and I had had a day, and so we decided we just wanted wine. We knew Z would join in, but X won't. X hasn't for years, though she used to.)
So X is late. When X gets there she starts talking to Z. And only Z. Telling the same stories that I've already heard 3 times this week--once when X told them to me herself, once when X told them to the person in each of the cubicles on either side of me at work.
X usually dominates the conversation (and 9 times out of 10 she doesn't even bring anything to work on, she just comes to talk.) But for some reason, I behaved badly last night. Since neither A or I wanted to hear the story for a 4th time and X wasn't including us anyway, A and I just started talking to each other. And Z tried to join in. And X kept trying to bring everything back to herself.
So after awhile X stomps out and slams the door without saying good-by to anyone. Because she was upset with me because I kept changing the topic.
I know I have a really bad tendancy to interrupt other people and A told me I was doing it last night. I told A she should just kick me or something when I start. Because it's annoying. I know it is because my Dad does.the.exact.same.thing. And annoying!
I feel so bad today. And my bad mood is not helping poor David, who has to listen to all this and whose stress level is already through the roof. His client base has dried up because they can't afford to pay him in this economy and with no State funding any more. His car needs work; his teeth need work; he slashed two arteries in his right hand a couple of months ago and has no health insurance, so though the hand healed, the hospital bills need to be paid. He's tyring to sell his late Mom's condo, which needs a ton of work, including having the A/C replaced and the kitchen cabinets replaced and there is no money for that because no clients. At home, althought the building is finally full, one of the tenants is causing a lot of problems for everyone else and is constantly late with her rent. And that's just what I can think of while I'm at work and upset.
Oh, yeah, and then there is a "friend" of his who has been taking advantage of him for years. He has helped out this friend financally (never got a dime back on the loan) and in other ways for years and years. Now he needs "friend" to reciprocate and "friend's" response is that David is basically a jerk for having his own problems.
He needs to "break up" with this friend, but I finally realized that it won't happend unless I become the "bad guy" and insist that he end it because I don't want to see this friend anymore. But becasue they have bunch of mutual friends, including ones we are supposed to visit next month, I've got to take the blame whenever we see them.
His stress level is so through the roof that he's not sleeping. Which means I'm not sleeping. And so now my stress level is through the roof.
I told A this morning, when I was apologing to her last night, that I should just crawl under a rock or be a hermit or something because I so clearly should not be around people at all.
Thanks for letting me rant. Now feel free to tell me what a bad friend I've been to X.
Maureen