OT-Groaner for the day -- Spew warning!

Got this from a friend - figured someone might need a laugh for the day! ME-Judy

Groaners

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

2. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

1. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

2. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

1. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

2. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

1. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

2. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

1. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

2. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

1. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

2. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

1. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16.. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet..'

1. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

1. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20.. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

1. A backward poet writes inverse.

2. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

1. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

2. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!