Heard this on our monring Surnise program and laughed like a crazy woman (not too unusual considering I am crazy).
While a woman is making her husband breakfast he comes down and pinches her on the behind and says "If you firm this up we can get rid of the control top pantyhose". The woman naturally, gives him the silent treatment for the remainder of the day.
Next morning as they are waking up, the man gives the woman a bit of a fondle around the breasts and says "If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra".
The woman rolls over silently to face her husband and grabs his....ummm....jewels in a death grip. "If YOU firmed this up WE could get rid of the postman, gardener, milkman, delivery boy and the Poool Boy".
I love it!