The pain med I started most recently was sort of working and then a couple days ago I broke out in an itchy, red rash on my throat. End of that.
So tomorrow I start another drug. A patch, not a pill.
This is the last one. I can't handle the chemical whiplash anymore. My body feels confused and miserable. Food doesn't taste good. My stomach is unhappy. My brain just wants to sleep all the time, but dreads the bad dreams that come every night.
Worst of all, I can't sew. I can't stitch. I can't weave. I can't draw pictures or anything. I have a half-dozen projects sitting ready to put together. Easy and fun and pretty. I can 't do it. My brain and my hands just have gone on strike. I am worried I won't ever make anything again. See? I'm over-dramatic, too.
This is the last drug. If it doesn't work, I really don't know what I'll do. I'm looking into self-hypnosis clinics and I'm seeing a shaman in January and from there I don't know. My husband is looking for a school that teaches cranio-facial massage so he can help me. I know I have everything in the world going for me. I appreciate how many people are praying for me and keeping me in their thoughts and hearts. I'm just so tired.
But, we carry on. And I'm absolutely certain this new drug will be the one to give me relief and not make me itch or turn colors or wig out or get spots on my legs or lose my voice or need to sleep 25 hours a day.
Sunny