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OT: Medical stuff (avoid if so inclined)

I've been feeling worse and worse over the past couple of months -- unable to get out of bed a few days. Fevers most days. Pain levels up

-- normal stuff but worse. And the fatigue has become way, way out of control.

It's a long story, but the short of it is that I'm going back on Prednisone today -- 60 mg for several days and then tapering down to

10 by the end of 12 days and then staying at 10.

I was on the stuff 4.5 years and hated every second. I had a "buffalo hump" at the base of my neck. I finally weaned off it almost a year ago. But now I've hit a real wall and there you go -- right back on the nasty stuff. What it does is subdue my raging immune system.

Now, the only thing I've been really successful at the last few months is gaining weight. More than 20 pounds since last summer. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I look horrible. And prednisone makes you gain weight. If you go on a fast with only water for nourishment, you're gonna gain 25 pounds.

So I'm moaning. I was always a thin person until I got too sick to get out and move around. And got put on a bunch of meds that all put weight on you. Now I'm "fluffy" and it looks awful and I can't wear any clothes and I feel soooooooooooo ugly. No, I don't find other fluffy women ugly. Just me. And I feel like my husband can't stand the way I look, even though he says otherwise. Let's get real.

As a result of all the above I'm feeling pretty bad. Shaking from the prednisone and craving food. Any food. The dog kibble looks pretty good. Except for those unkind stomach cramps. And I feel bad about myself in every way possible.

I'm having a hard time reading the past week. Can't really make it work for more than a few mins at a time. I don't know if I'll be around for awhile, but I do love all of you and want you to know I'm praying and sending good thoughts and all that. I will post the baby quilt I'm finishing in the new few days and my bed quilt that I'm long- arming next week. I need a life so I'm putting photos up when I can.

Hugs to all -- Larisa, do let me hear about Tom's medical results! Sunny

Reply to
Sunny
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All those nasty emotions and bad feelings about yourself are likely from the drugs also. I do understand it. The crummies, the fluffiness, the who-cares nobody-likes-me stuff. I'll be praying that you'll be able to get off of it again, sooner rather than later.

Hugs, Karen, Queen of Squishies ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~Don't push the river. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reply to
Karen, Queen of Squishies

Sunny, i agree w/Karen, the meds will do that to you. Dont be too hard on yourself. Probly 90% of U.S. women are "fluffy", myself included. Never used to be, but illness and depression will do that to anyone. Stay calm, go at your own pace and remember to smile at least 3 times a day, and kiss your DH, true love will last and he sounds like a keeper.

sending {{{hugs}}} and prayers your way.

amy in CNY

Reply to
amy in CNY

Oh, Sunny, what a bummer! Trying to look on the bright side, at least there is a drug which should slow the process - though I know that probably doesn't help right now. The weight gain with these kind of drugs stinks, please remember though that you are a valuable individual regardless of your weight.

Thinking of you,

Anne

Reply to
Anne Rogers

So sorry you are feeling down Sunny. I completely understand. Been there, still am somewhat. sigh. Please know that I will be sending as much positive energy as I can your way. Hang in there and it will get better.

Pati, > I've been feeling worse and worse over the past couple of months --

Reply to
Pati Cook

I'm really sympathizing with you, Sunny. What an ordeal. You don't even know yourself when you're on all those chemicals. Remember a sci fi movie about body snatchers? Aliens who came and took over human bodies for alien purposes. You can just keep telling yourself that the alien isn't going to run your life - The thoughts of the alien aren't your thoughts - and they're not true. And you must realize that your husband hasn't stayed with you in matrimony because of your looks - a long term relationship is built on things much deeper than looks!!

Musicmaker

Reply to
Musicmaker

Thank you! EVerybody thank you! I love you all and will be stopping by again tomorrow. Right now the computer is driving me nuts.

Hugs and prayers, Sunny

Reply to
Sunny

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