OT sewing I said no to

I can see why... I do sympathise with both your stand and with the bride.

But I really DO have to ask: did the bride not try the gown on when she picked it up? If that had been done at the time, they would have seen the problem, and should have pulled all the stops out to fix it there and then, even unto working all night to make her a new dress, at their expense.

I'd have left the dress with them and demanded the return of all my money as the dress was not fit for the purpose and they had rendered it unfit for me to wear.

Hope you get to feeling better so you can spend time with the new grand baby. I agree that the bride should have tried on her wedding dress when she picked it up to make sure it fit. I would think that it should have be altered at least 3 weeks before the wedding and all this is bad planning on the bride's part to do it this close to the wedding. Barbara in SC

I have no experience with the dress-doesn't-fit-at-the-last-minute wedding scenario so take that into account as I ask what is probably a stupid question. Fancy weddings are usually planned a year in advance. Instead of telling the bridal shop that the dress must be ready a week in advance, why don't they insist that it be done 2 months in advance? If there's a problem, there would be adequate time to fix it.

Of course, you're talking to someone who has no wedding experience at all. I think the whole fancy wedding thing is stupid. Do people who spend the cost of their real estate on a single party really have better memories of the event than people who throw a nice but reasonable reception? I can understand expanding the guest list so as not to have to disinclude anyone. Hurt feelings last a long time. But do deluxe flower bouquets for 14 people plus on every table and every pew really make for a better time than a few well placed vases and something for the bride to carry?

I can understand that the bride wants to be pretty, but a $7000 dress? Does it really make her prettier? A friend in her 40s is marrying for the 2nd time. Her fiance has 2 teenagers from his first marriage. Originally they wanted to keep it small and reasonable, just the boys, no theatrics. Then the don't-hurt-people's-feelings rules was evoked, and her whole extended family got invited. Now she's shopping for a dress at David's and trying to keep the cost under a $1000. While calling around to other shops, she learned that many don't carry dresses for under $10,000. I'm flabbergasted. I'd tell her to buy a pastel business suit that she can wear to a corporate meeting.

And now for NightMist. After going on about how people spend too much on weddings, I'm going to give you advice that you never asked for. If you're so much in demand that you have more work than you can handle, RAISE YOUR PRICES. As long as you're disappointing some people because you have too much to do, you might as well get paid well from the few people you are able to accommodate. Look at the idiot bridal shop. They do work so shoddy that it doesn't even fit, and they're making big bucks.

--Lia

NightMist wrote:

Congrats on the new GB!!!! hope you are well enough very soon to play with him.

Lia is right...raise your prices and demand that your customers abide by your schedule. if they are truly good customers, they'll tow the line.

Poor bride.... i cant imagine not trying on a gown of any sort before leaving the shop. she must be clueless.

amy in CNY

NightMist wrote:

I had a similar thing happen to me years ago. A dear friend who lived down the street from me in Lizard Land is a Flight Attendant. A friend of hers that she flew with frequently had ordered her gown from one of the VERY $$$$ Wedding Boutiques in Scottsdale. The shop had a sort of Open House with several gown designers in attendance to recommend a gown style for the bride. The designer herself took the measurements, etc. Fortunately, the Bride (being a flight attendant) wasn't worried about losing weight before the wedding AND she ordered the gown well in advance of the wedding date. Well, you guessed it -- the gown came in and it was acres too big -- always better than too small! She had the gown altered paying hugely exorbitant amounts of $$. When she went back for what she assumed would be the final fitting, it was STILL to big AND didn't hang correctly. Unfortunately for the poor woman, the gown was of bias cut lovely satin and the idiots who did the aterations had obviously not taken this into account. They had pulled the skirt of the gown all wrong and it was terribly wonky. VBS -- it was a good thing that the gown had been way to large to start with because I had to almost recut the whole thing to make it hang correctly. IIRC, I finished the final alterations about a month before the wedding. This was near 15 years ago and at that time, the woman had paid on the order of $6,000 for the gown. What's really scary is that the DESIGNER couldn't even get the measurements right so that the gown fit properly!!! I told the bride that the designer had likely made the gown to large to begin with just so that the shop could charge her all that $$$ for alterations! CiaoMeow >^;;^<

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at

I'm with Lia. Choosing to pay $7,000 for a wedding dress is beyond me. That aside, I'm so glad you just said no. I've done some imaginative alterations for hysterical brides before but 11" in the hips ? No sirreeee, nope, not me. Not even possible. That crisis makes me want to run for the nearest hiding place. Polly

Another VBS about this! How many brides have you had to deal with who have absolutely NO idea of what is involved in alterating a wedding gown? When I have to do alterations on any sort of fancy gown, I always explain what is involved to the person so they understand the work involved AND the cost of the laterations. I don't know about your shop, but the ones I have dealt with take the measurements and have a gown made to fit the LARGEST measurement (bust, waist or hip) and then have the gown made to fit whichever pattern size best fits that measurement. Then the Bride, MOB, Bridesmaid, etc. has to pay additional money to have the gown altered to fit. I don't think most folks realize that the garments offered for sale are made to a specific *pattern* size NOT to the person's specific measurements. CiaoMeow >^;;^<

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at

That's pretty much why I made my own wedding dress - bottom half is a size bigger than top half, so I bought a copy of the pattern in each size, made up a toile of each of the two sections and then made sure I could make them fit together at the waist, which they did. Only then did I cut into the silk. No way did it cost me anything like as much as I would have paid at a bridal shop, even after factoring in a sensible hourly rate for my time.

Lizzy

Mercury is retrograde. She should cancel the wedding until it goes direct anyway. Glad you said no. No reason to make everyone's life miserable for the week.

C> And I really really mean it.

I don't blame you at all - you did the right thing gal! It's the responsibility of the bridal shop to get it right and to make the adjustments! ...and not charge extra for their mistakes. It's your job to take care of yourself and enjoy your new little one!

ME-Judy

Wow! I don't think you had any choice but to refuse, Nightmist -- and good for you for doing so! I hope everything settles down at your house soon and that everyone regains health and fitness. :)

Congratulations!!! Trying to sneak that wonderful piece of news in on the end!

Glad you said "no" to fixing the dress. Sometimes we just have to think of ourselves and our family first.

Hope you get to spend time with the little guy!

Marilyn in rainy/misty Alberta, Canada

At that point she had been in for fittings repeatedly. They had been having a tough time with it at the shop. This gal is almost six feet tall and very nearly shaped like Barbie. They were having a devil of a time fitting the bust, and then getting the waist small enough. Which leads me to suspect that more than a few of her fittings were simply trying on different premade sizes without the shop so much as threading a needle. She didn't get to try it on on Saturday because the shop was taking an extra Memorial Day (it was traditional memorial day) and so were only open for half a day. As you may have guessed, I do not have a particularly high opinion of that shop. She would have done better to have gone to the boutique downtown instead of heading out to the trust fund enclave to shop.

I told her. If they can't get the fit right by this time they had best give her back her money and she can probably get the other shop to fix her up with the same dress at half the cost. At that half of what she will pay will be for the rush.

NightMist

the Saturday she picked up the dress is a week before the wedding? i read your first post as the day before the wedding.

yup, i'd be asking, no, demanding my money refunded tootsuite (sp?). in fact i'd probably say i'll accompany you to the bank NOW for a bank draft to be sure that they dont write her a rubber cheque. with many previous fittings there is no excuse for making such a huge mistake, then letting her take it without trying it on. NO excuse at all. i do hope the other shop does right for her in time at a good price too. this is the last thing a bride needs in the lead up to her big day. good thing i'm not there, i'd be going with her to the shop and taking no prisoners. grrrrrr, j.

"NightMist" wrote...

If it were consistant I surely would. But it comes in spats and spates. I'll have no sewing work for months, and then get slammed.

I do charge less on average than other people, but I also live in an area that has been economically depressed for decades. I am happy with $25 an hour plus(1), that is really good money hereabouts.

NightMist

(1) Plus being cost of materials +50% though thread and buttons aren't included unless they are specialty items, and an additional $100 if I have to work from certain patterns, an extra $200 if it is a pattern from a company on my "special" list or any corset pattern. No extra charge if I do the drafting, but it counts for hourly rate. Mending, hemming, and such minor stuff is by negotiation. Clear as mud? (G)

Actually, it is clear and helpful. The only sewing I do for other people is machine quilting some of my guild's charity quilts. I've never charged, but I'm often asked about how much to charge. It's always helpful to know what people are getting.

My first sewing lessons were on garment making. I took from a teacher who advertised that she was teaching students how to make their own patterns. She began with the measurements and an idea of what the dress was to look like. Then she made the pattern from scratch, no adjusting a previously made pattern. I don't think Barbie would have phased her.

I don't know nothing about the bridal business, but from this end, I'll admit to being shocked at the idea of someone going in to have a dress custom made for her only to discover that she was getting a commercial, pre-fitted, made-from-a-pattern, dress anyway, one that's altered after the fact, not made for her size in the first place. Is that the way it's done all over?

--Lia

She'd have got exactly what she wanted with WAAAAAY less hassle, and for a lot less, if she'd come to you a year ago and asked you to make it for her or to help her find a dressmaker if you declined to make it. I do dispaire of some people... Were they born without a shred of common sense, or is it amputated the moment a fella proposes?

At her size and shape, with the trouble she must hve buying ordinary things like jeans to fit, she must have realized getting her wedding dress *made* would be the EASY option!